Episode Transcript
Written by Mitchell Hurwitz and Jim Vallely.
Tobias: Oh, that is quite a basket you’ve got there, Michael. That Sally Sitwell is one lucky lady.
Michael: Well, I’m not so sure that she’s actually right for me anyway. But you got one of these, too, didn’t you? You, you bought Lindsay at the same auction.
Narrator: Tobias wanted to make sure that everything was perfect for Lindsay, so he went to check it out first.
Tobias: Oh... body chocolate.
Activities Director: You just did.
Michael: Why don’t you take this? I don’t have anyone to go with, anyway.
Tobias: Oh. Can you imagine how jealous that would make her? “Where’s Tobias?” “Oh, he’s just sharing a romantic horseback ride with Michael Bluth, and they’re dipping each other in...” Oh, you didn’t get any body chocolate?
Michael: I-I didn’t mean with me. I hate to see you struggle like this. In fact... Why don’t you let me ask her for you?
Tobias: Well, Michael, you really are quite the Cupid, aren’t you? I tell you, you can zing your arrow into my buttocks any time.
Michael: Okay, you know what you do? You buy yourself a tape recorder, you just record yourself for a whole day. I think you’re going to be surprised at some of your phrasing.
Tobias: Butterscotch! Want a lick?
Narrator: And later, Lindsay stopped by the office, at Michael’s request.
Michael: Great. Thank you. Listen, I want you to take my Romance Package at the Four Seas Hotel.
Lindsay: Oh, yay!
Michael: That’s great. Tobias is gonna be thrilled.
Lindsay: Oh, I have to go with Tobias?
Michael: Lindsay. Your husband really wants this to work. Come on, let me play Cupid this year.
Lindsay: I thought he went already.
Michael: Yeah, I’m giving you mine.
Lindsay: Oh, because you’re too afraid to ask Sally Sitwell to go with you.
Michael: That’s not true. That’s not true at all.
Lindsay: Chaw-chee, chaw-chee, chaw-chee, chaw.
Michael: What is that? Is that a chicken?
G.O.B.: What’s this?
Lindsay: Oh, Michael’s scared to ask out Sally.
Michael: No, I’m not.
Michael: I am not... That’s enough! There are people working here.
G.O.B.: Listen, I think that Lucille 2 is up to something.
Michael: Mom said the same thing when she came over. I thought she was just ticked off ’cause you’re seeing her.
Lindsay: What? You’re seeing Lucille 2? Does Buster know?
G.O.B.: No. And I’m not. Just don’t tell... people. I’m playing the part of the gigolo so that she’ll keep the company afloat. But you know what? Something weird happened yesterday when I was trying to find a way out of there.
Narrator: In fact, it was Stan Sitwell calling her, as he’d become quite taken with Lucille 2, himself.
Michael: You know, it all makes sense. I mean, why else would Sally Sitwell be avoiding me?
