Episode Transcript
Written by Mitchell Hurwitz and Jim Vallely.
Narrator: Meanwhile, Buster had decided to pursue a new girlfriend. His old girlfriend.
G.O.B.: I’m getting into her head. I think she’s planning on selling our company to Stan Sitwell.
- catlike agility
- Buster’s demonstration of “these kinds of skills” closely mirrors Tobias’s demonstration of “this kind of agility” in Justice Is Blind.
G.O.B.: But I’ve lost her trail, and I don’t think I have the skills to pick it up.
Buster: Skills?
Buster: (Gasps.)
G.O.B.: Not really.
G.O.B.: But if you could get me one of those outfits, we could hide in the bushes or something and spy on them.
Buster: I would like to see her again. You’ve got it!
Narrator: And Michael told his father the good news about Uncle Jack.
George, Sr.: You’re pimping out your sister?
Michael: You were pimping out my mother.
George, Sr.: Yes, because she was sleeping with my brother. But your sister?!
Michael: Everything’s gonna be fine. No one’s going to get hurt. No one is going to get hurt.
Maeby: Oh, hey, Michael. My dad wanted me to thank you for the romantic getaway. Don’t tell me what that means.
Michael: Where is your dad?
Maeby: He left dressed all westerny. You can leave me out of that part, too.
Narrator: And Michael realized that perhaps somebody would get hurt.
Michael: I screwed my brother-in-law.
Maeby: Well, I’m all grown up now.
Narrator: So, Michael rushed to the Four Seas Hotel to keep Tobias from finding out about Lindsay’s date.
Michael: Hi!
Tobias: Michael! Michael, this is Jeff. He does all the horse work here. You’ll meet him again at the end. Plus he gets you your juice. Not your first juice, but the one you get at the spa.
Michael: That’s right— you’ve done this before.
Tobias: But not with a lovely lady. Jeff doubts one’s coming at all. Don’t you...?
Tobias: Sorry, sorry...
Michael: About the lovely lady...
Uncle Jack: Stop! You dropped the boot! You dropped the boot!
Narrator: Michael came up with the only evasion he could think of.
Uncle Jack: He dropped it! Let him get it!
Michael: Tobias, the, uh, the lovely lady, she’s going to be a little bit late. She’s doing some work. She said to go ahead and get started without her. Saddle me up, Jeff.
Wrangler Jeff: It’s going to take a few minutes to tack another horse.
Narrator: So Michael embarked on the romantic adventure he’d spent so lavishly for.
Tobias: Well, you certainly didn’t help my reputation as a ladies man with Jeff. But we’ll clear all that up in the spa when I get my facial.
Michael: Hey, did you ever get that tape recorder?
Tobias: You’re funny. Come on, boy. Hu-Chah-Chah! Ha-cha! Whoa!
Narrator: Soon, the next group began their romantic date.
Lindsay: So nice of you to cover this, Uncle Jack.
Uncle Jack: My pleasure. It’s nice to do something you don’t need legs for.
