Maeby: Well, we may have to find a way to speed that process up.
Narrator: And later that day, Michael caught Lindsay up on the emotional bond he was forming with Sally.
Lindsay: Aw, big deal. Three times. I’ve had three times plenty of times.
Michael: I just hope that George Michael is really okay with it.
Lindsay: You know, I think you’re looking for a reason this isn’t going to work, because you can’t handle happiness. And you like to suffer.
G.O.B.: Oh, how delicious.
G.O.B.: Look at this delicious piece of irony. I’m being sued for divorce. Me.
Michael: Thought you were single?
G.O.B.: Yeah, I keep forgetting that I got married.
Narrator: G.O.B. met a woman one night, and after a series of escalating dares married her.
G.O.B.: Yes, but it’s all coming back to me now. She was a seal dealer. She raised and sold seals to aquariums and marine parks, that sort of thing. Then she went off to fight her war and left me to look after them.
Narrator: It was while in the service that her penchant for daring found an natural outlet.
Michael: I’ve never known you to look after a seal.
G.O.B.: Turns out it’s a major hassle. Tried to include one in my act once. There is a reason you don’t typically see live seals in a magic show.
G.O.B.: So I released them from whence they came, and now she’s stomping on my heart.
Michael: What’s her first name? Quickly.
Michael: Her name’s not Krindy, G.O.B.
G.O.B.: Ah, Saul Zentsman. No... that’s her lawyer. Well, she’s got a name, and I’m going to find out what it is, and I’m going to make a pun on it and that’s what I’ll call her. Bad example: if her name’s Amy, I’ll call her Blamy.
Michael: That’s a strong defense. I’ll tell you what, I’ll help you look for Barry tomorrow. I think Dad prepaid him for Lindsay and Tobias’ divorce anyway.
Lindsay: Look at us. Three relationships all falling apart. Maybe it’s time we actually took some responsibility for that.
G.O.B.: I think it’s Mom’s fault.
Lindsay: I was going to say the exact same thing.
Lucille: So this is how my children speak of me when I’m not here.
Michael: What are you doing here, Mom?
Lucille: Your brother Buster wants to meet me at the beach tomorrow. Do you know what this is about? Because if it’s about going in the ocean the answer is no—he’s not going in the ocean.
Michael: Well, there are bigger dangers, Mom, like say, signing him up for the army during wartime.
Lucille: What the hell was I supposed to do? Michael Moore confronted me in front of the whole country.
Michael: First of all, it wasn’t Michael Moore. It was a Michael Moore look-alike, and it wasn’t in front of the whole country. It was for a bit on Jimmy Kimmel Live.
Lucille: I don’t know who that is, and I don’t care to find out.
Narrator: But the next day, she did find out what Buster wanted.
Photographer: Okay, I think we have enough of you two kissing.
Lucille: I can’t believe you hired a photographer. We haven’t done this since the Balboa Bay Window magazine.
Buster: So I wanted you to have a recent picture of me because they want to ship me out tomorrow. With Army.
Oscar: What? To where?
Buster: Iraq. I just might be out of options. I don’t want to go, but...