Episode Transcript
Written by Jim Vallely and Chuck Martin.
Lucille: Oh, you’re sounding like your uncle. And I’ve had enough of his attitude, too.
Michael: Where did Buster say he was going?
Lucille: Iraq. Which is a shot at your father. Thank God he’s not here to hear this.
Michael: Excuse me one second. The pipes.
Tobias: You know, Mother Lucille, there’s a psychological concept known as denial that I believe you’re evincing. It’s when a thought is so hateful that the mind literally rejects it.
Lucille: You are a worse psychiatrist than you are a son-in-law, and you will never get work as an actor because you have no talent.
Tobias: Well, if she’s not going to say anything, I certainly can’t help her.
Narrator: And Maeby saw a way to help her cousin.
Maeby: I know how to get rid of Ann. You put her in a room with Gangee, she’ll criticize her away.
George Michael: But what would Gangee have to criticize about Ann?
Maeby: Oh, George Michael...
Narrator: In the attic, Michael met with George, Sr. who’d overheard about Buster.
George, Sr.: He can’t go. You can’t let him. I command you.
Michael: I really hate it when you put on the God costume.
Narrator: George, Sr. had always worn the God costume at the annual Living Classics pageant where he and Buster recreated Michelangelo’s The Creation of Man.
George, Sr.: What if I never get a chance to reach out and touch that hand of his again? I got to go to him.
Michael: Pop, you’re a wanted man. You cannot risk leaving the attic all the time.
George, Sr.: Oh, when? When have I ever left the attic?
Michael: Two days ago. Right? I saw you floating around a Ford dealership.
George, Sr.: Yeah, well, have you seen the new Mustang? You could hump that hood.
Narrator: And Michael set the plan in motion to get Maggie out of her house.
Maggie: What are you doing here, Michael? I’m with a client.
Loretta: Is that the pizza?
Maggie: No...! You’ll get your pizza. She’s taking the stand tomorrow, I want to make sure it creaks.
Michael: There’s so much I don’t understand about the law. Look, Maggie, if this child is mine, I really need to know. So what do you think, can you spare a few minutes for someone who might be the father of your baby?
Maggie: Of course I can.
Michael: Okay.
Maggie: But it’s not you.
Maggie: Oh, for God sakes.
