The Young Man and the Seal
Episode Transcript
Written by Chuck Martin and Mitchell Hurwitz.
Lucille: If only your father was here. Oh, that George. God only knows where he is.
Oscar: The car!
George, Sr.: Up yours, granny!
Lucille: You couldn’t handle it!
Narrator: In fact, George, Sr. had snuck out of the attic and gone to a local Ford dealership.
Car Salesman: The Bronco’s been discontinued. We’re trying to shed that whole fugitive on the run thing. This is the Escape.
George, Sr.: What a fun name. May I test drive?
George, Sr.: Up yours, granny!
Lucille: You couldn’t handle it!
Narrator: Soon, Michael and George Michael arrived at the hospital.
Lucille: If something happens to Buster, I’ll be lost.
Michael: Excuse me.
Lucille: George Michael, you’re going to have to be the baby of the family.
George Michael: Um, Maeby’s younger than me.
Lucille: You’re never going in the ocean! Never! You’re my baby. I’m never letting go. You’re my baby now! You’re my baby now!
Michael: Mom, he is not yours!
Lucille: The hell with all of you. I have a man. (Gasps.)
Dr. Fishman: Excuse me. Are you the Bluths?
Lucille: Not Dr. Wordsmith.
Lucille: How’s my son?
Dr. Fishman: He’s going to be all right.
Lindsay: Finally some good news from this guy.
George Michael: There’s no other way to take that.
Dr. Fishman: That’s a great attitude. I got to tell you, if I was getting this news, I don’t know that I’d take it this well.
Lucille: But you said he was all right.
Dr. Fishman: Yes, he’s lost his left hand. So he’s going to be “all right.”
Lucille: You son of a bitch. I hate this doctor!
Lindsay: How do we keep getting this guy?
Michael: Mom, he’s a very literal man.
Dr. Fishman: Yes, that’s more the way I would take the news.
Buster: Actually, I’m relieved. I don’t have to go to Army because the seal with the bow tie attacked me. I feel like I’ve lost three pounds.
Michael: Seal with the bow tie?
Buster: Yeah. I think that’s what I saw bite me. Now I just wish I could remember why I went in the ocean. Did we fight or something?
Michael: It’s okay. Doctor says you’re going to be fine. And if they can find the hand, they’re going to be able to reattach it. You know, like a transplant?
Buster: I’m fine. This is a blessing. And speaking of blessings, I heard there’s gonna be a baby. (Laughs.)
Michael: Oh, yeah. Yeah. But don’t-don’t, please, don’t worry about that. What’s more important is you’re really doing well with this, pal, and my hat is off to you.
Buster: And my hand is off to you. (Laughs.)
Michael: (Forced laugh.) No, no. I meant don’t get your hopes up about that...
