The Young Man and the Seal
Episode Transcript
Written by Chuck Martin and Mitchell Hurwitz.
Tobias: She’s hardly a child, is she, Michael.
Lindsay: Yeah, and we know where she is. She’s with her debate club, and they’re on their way to Sacremende for the semifinals.
Narrator: She wasn’t. And a Google search of the word “Sacramende” only came up with this.
- writer
- Chuck Martin can be seen at the far right of the scene where Maeby directs The Young Man and The Beach.
Narrator: In fact, she was overseeing a remake of The Old Man and the Sea for the film studio where she’d bluffed her way into a job.
Maeby: What on Earth is taking so long? Am I the only one who wants to get home and see their kids?
Lindsay: So please don’t tell me I don’t know where my kid is.
Michael: All I’m saying is that Maggie claims that no one else is involved, but what if she’s lying again, and there is someone else involved? You know, a boyfriend, a husband, someone that got dumped when something better came along.
Lindsay: Of course. Why wouldn’t she?
Michael: Well, yeah. I’m a good guy, you know. So I’m thinking that maybe you could break into her house again for me and see if you can find some...
Lindsay: Way out of this for you? I don’t think so.
Michael: No, I was going to say, find some evidence of who the father is, but forget it. I’ll find somebody who wants an adventure. (Whispering.) George Michael, how would you like to get away from Uncle Buster?
George Michael: I’d really like that.
Michael: Good. Okay, shh, shh, shh.
Narrator: And so with his son’s help, Michael went to Maggie’s to find some evidence of another man.
- Red McGibbon and Bullet
- Michael compares his adventure with George Michael to Jack Dorso’s old films.
Michael: It’s another Bluth boy adventure. We’re like a team— we’re like Red McGibbon and Bullet.
George Michael: Who?
Michael: They’re this old— never mind.
Michael: Okay, listen, anything you find in there— a name, phone number— you bring it out to Daddy, all right?
George Michael: You’re not going in with me?
Michael: Hm? No, no, I can’t fit through that doggy door, but I am going to risk being caught out here. Be careful.
George Michael: Okay, I got a phone number. Let’s go. Drive. Let’s go. Gas.
Michael: You didn’t even go inside.
George Michael: It was taped to the door.
Michael: It’s probably the Sparkletts guy. Listen, it’s okay. I’m telling you, there’s nothing to be scared about. I’m not getting that vibe... (Yelps.)
Officer Taylor: Everything all right?
Michael: Yes, Officer. Just waiting to see if Maggie was home.
Officer Taylor: Oh. I was making sure there wasn’t another break-in. Officer Davis is inside with his gun drawn, so, everything’s going to be just fine.
Michael: Close call there, Bullet. I’m so sorry about that. But listen, I think- I think that you do have something here with this phone number. You know, “Really eager to hear from you.” You know, that’s something a guys would say if he was a father of a child and the mother stopped calling ’cause she found a really good guy, you know. I think this is him. Getting that vibe. We’re having some fun, aren’t we? I’m really sorry about that.
Narrator: And G.O.B. arrived at the dock...
Narrator: ...hoping to recover his brother’s missing hand.
G.O.B.: Looking for the seal that’s got the taste for kitty blood. I’ll pay you handsomely.
Narrator: In fact, the skipper had already rented his boat to be shot in Maeby’s film. So neither he nor G.O.B. ...
G.O.B.: (Yells.)
Narrator: ... were prepared for the challenges ...
Narrator: ... of using cats to catch a seal.
G.O.B.: (Yells.) It’s like herding cats.
G.O.B.: Here’s your kitty cat— Ow! Fine, you don’t get to be bait.
Joe: Why are there cats in the shot? This is the camera boat. Can you lose the bleeping cats, please?
Maeby: Uncle G.O.B.?
