Episode Transcript
Written by Jim Vallely and Mitchell Hurwitz.
Revision: 1.6
Narrator: Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together. It’s... Arrested Development.
Narrator: Michael Bluth had gotten up early in the hopes of avoiding his family. His mother, however, was already dressed, made up and waiting for him.
Lucille: Good morning.
Michael: Oh! (Yells.)
Narrator: Which put her wake-up time in the 3:00, 3:30 area.
Lucille: I couldn’t sleep. I always get this way before Motherboy.
Michael: Oh, God. It’s Motherboy already?
Narrator: Motherboy was a dinner dance aimed at promoting mother/son bonding.
- Motherboy
- The trophy in the Motherboy II photo appears to read “Saddest Couple.”
Narrator: As one entered sexual maturity, and the other left it, it became harder to win.
Lucille: It’s not just Motherboy. It’s Motherboy XXX! And I think with you, I’ve got a shot.
Michael: Oh, no. What, Buster, for the first time ever, doesn’t want to do this?
Lucille: No, no, he does. It’s just he’s been so mopey.
Michael: Well, that could have something to do with the fact that a seal ate his hand.
Lucille: I don’t know what it is.
Michael: I think that’s what it is.
Lucille: Who knows?
Narrator: It was that.
Narrator: It had happened weeks earlier when Buster went swimming in the ocean against his mother’s wishes.
Person: Loose seal! Watch out for that loose seal.
Buster: I don’t care about Lucille. She lied! (Yells.)
Narrator: He had become haunted by the loss...
Buster: (Sees hand chair, screams.)
Narrator: ... seeing reminders of the accident everywhere.
Buster: (Sees stuffed seal, screams.) (Sees “arm off,” screams.)
Buster: Mother, I can’t sleep. I may not be able to go to dance practice today.
Lucille: I’m going out. Zip me up.
Michael: Oh, I know what this is. You’re embarrassed by him, aren’t you? You know, you spent your whole life overmothering the guy, and when he finally needs you, you’re not there.
Lucille: Well, I don’t see you spending time with him.
Narrator: The Bluth children had been uneasy about missing limbs since their father used a one-armed man to teach them lessons.
J. Walter Weatherman: That’s why you don’t yell.
Michael: As a matter of fact, I’m going to see Buster today. So you’re gonna have to find a different dance partner for Motherboy.
