Michael: You’re up awful early.
Lindsay: Yeah. Well, my marriage is falling apart. Tobias is back with Carl.
Narrator: Tobias had gotten a call from his one-time acting teacher, Carl Weathers.
Tobias: He’s directing something for TV. But he thinks he might have a part for me. If this takes off, I might be able to buy you the happiness that you deserve.
Lindsay: I mean, he said the same thing when he got cast as Frightened Inmate #2 in that film he got fired from.
Narrator: He’d even gotten a vanity plate made up announcing the achievement. And this wasn’t the first time.
Lindsay: He’s so clueless. He’s not your real take-charge husband.
Michael: You know, Lindsay, you’re still looking for somebody like Daddy. Okay? Now, let’s not forget that he was also dismissive and disinterested.
Lindsay: No, no. He had good qualities.
Narrator: Actually, George, Sr. was secretly living in the attic above them...
George, Sr.: Nellie...
Narrator: ...and was starved for company...
George, Sr.: (To dolls.) Now... who wants to take their top off?
Narrator: ...when George Michael and Maeby came in.
Maeby: So you and Ann are actually going on a Christian camping trip?
George Michael: It’s called the Promise Land. You’re supposed to make promises about your relationship as a tribute to the generations that preceded you. Hey, there’s booze in this.
Maeby: That’s the Promised Land that Ann’s taking you to? You’re going to need this more than Polly here.
George, Sr.: That one’s Polly?
Michael: Hey, what are you kids doing up here?
George Michael: We’re just looking for the camping stuff. Hey, do you know where the pump is for the air mattress?
Michael: I had to take all pumps out of here a long time ago. Take this down to the kitchen, will you?
Michael: I think it’s getting a little too risky keeping you up here.
George, Sr.: Yeah, you know what’s risky? Letting your son go on that church thing.
Michael: Well, her name’s Ann, Dad. And he’s not going on her, okay? They’re just friends.
George, Sr.: Not for long. They-They’re making promises to each other? It’s all that fidelity and pledging yourself to a woman garbage. You know, I wine ’em and dine ’em, but I don’t let ’em tell me what to do.
Michael: Okay, I should have never taken the pumps out of here.
Michael: Listen, unlike you, I respect my son’s choices. (Knocking.) Okay, I don’t think you should be going on this Promise Land thing.
George Michael: What? Why? Is this because I’d miss school?
Michael: No, no.
Maeby: You get to miss school for that?
Narrator: And that’s when Maeby decided to become a devout Christian.
Maeby: Do you guys know where I could get one of those gold necklaces with the ‘T’ on it?
Michael: That’s a cross.
Maeby: Across from where?