Episode Transcript
Written by Barbie Feldman Adler and Abraham Higginbotham.
G.O.B.: Tobias moved out? Did he take the good video camera with him?
Michael: That’s really very touching, G.O.B. What do you need the camera for?
G.O.B.: I’m making a magic video. I’m going to tape myself doing tricks around the office. I’m calling it Tricks... let me finish... Around the Office. I figured out a way to make money while I’m working.
Michael: That is what we call working. Something you might want to try next time you’re at the office.
Michael: You’ve been missing things lately. I’m getting real tired of it. Incidentally, later on today, we’re having a big vote on that building renovation. I need you there to help me vote it in.
G.O.B.: Fine. I’ll vote at your stupid meeting as long as you give me the camera. I think we all know that George Michael was using it last.
Narrator: A fact the family discovered when they gathered to watch a home video.
years earlier...
Based on George Michael being 13, this seems to be two years earlier.
George, Sr.: Was that a 40th anniversary party? It didn’t cost us a thing.
Michael: Is that Qusay Hussein at the omelet bar?
George, Sr.: Look at this. These guys move, they don’t get paid.
Narrator: It seems that as a 13-year-old, George Michael had been heavily influenced by the Star Wars films, and had endeavored to recreate his favorite moments.
- Ghyslain Raza
- The videotape of George Michael recreating scenes from Star Wars is a reference to The Star Wars Kid.
George Michael: You’re not my father. You’re not half the man he is.
George, Sr.: I spent $2.1 million of company money and end up with this?
George Michael: My hand! You cut of my hand!
Buster: (Humming.)
Narrator: He also liked Star Wars.
Buster: (Imitating light saber buzzing.)
Michael: His self-esteem is low enough as it is, and I have no idea why. He’s such a great kid, you know. And everybody loves him. He’s George Michael. Truthfully, that’s why I’m not that crazy about that Ann, but he’ll move on.
G.O.B.: Unless he knocks her up like you did with his mother. Plus, she’s religious. That one gets pregnant, it stays pregnant. Believe me, I dated a chick like that once in high school. (Long pause.) No, I didn’t.
Michael: I’ve got to work on that boy’s self-esteem.
Narrator: Michael went to do so, only to hear Ann beating him to it.
Ann 2.0: George Michael, I want you to do it.
George Michael: But I don’t think I’m ready.
Ann 2.0: Of course you are.
George Michael: I’m going to lose it before I start.
Michael: Don’t start. Smoking. It’s a killer. That Sammy Davis, Jr. should still be performing. What’s going on?
George Michael: Ann thinks I should run for student body president.
Michael: That’s a great idea.
George Michael: I don’t have a chance. I mean, they only vote for the cool kids.
Ann 2.0: But everyone loves you.
Michael: You are George Michael! Who’s cooler than you? Plus, you would be following in your old man’s footsteps.
Ann 2.0: You were student body president?
Michael: Oh, it was close.
Ann 2.0: So you lost?
Michael: Who remembers?
Ann 2.0: I know I would remember.
George Michael: Ann, if my dad says that he won, then he won.
Michael: I didn’t say I won. I said I can’t remember. But now that we’re thinking about it, I seem to remember that the other guy won the actual title, although there were plenty in the school that wanted to overturn the decision. I said, “Let’s, do not... Let’s not put the school through that.” You know, I haven’t thought about that for years. Good memory.
Ann 2.0: Well, anyway, I’ll help you run your campaign and I’ll make your commercial for election day.
Michael: Well, that’s great. The important thing is to raise the old self-esteem and not to rush a physical relationship. Those are really the two important things.
