Episode Transcript
Written by Barbie Feldman Adler and Abraham Higginbotham.
Phillip Litt: I didn’t see you at the convention.
Tobias: No, I was in Germany. I teleconferenced in.
Phillip Litt: Oh. Did you got to the seminar on chafing?
Tobias: Dr. Schoenweiss, yes.
Michael: This is never going to work. There’s too many people, too many rooms.
G.O.B.: Michael, we can’t give up. This is important. Believe me, I’d rather be down at the beach, having drinks, howling at chicks. (Howls.)
George, Sr.: (Howls.)
G.O.B.: Dad?
George, Sr.: Oh, my boys. Yes, you came. You came for me.
Michael: Yeah, hi, Dad. G.O.B.’s going to get you out of those handcuffs. Can you do it, pal?
G.O.B.: One handcuff key coming up.
Michael: Great.
G.O.B.: (Gags.) (Burps.) (Retches.)
George, Sr.: What the hell are you doing?
G.O.B.: I swallowed a key just in case I ended up doing a show.
G.O.B.: (Gagging.)
George, Sr.: Come on. This is disgusting.
G.O.B.: I’m doing this for you.
Narrator: This continued for some time, while Michael switched out the coolers.
George, Sr.: I don’t understand. Why you’re switching out the coolers?
Michael: It buys us time, Dad.
George, Sr.: What, like a second?
Michael: Don’t worry about it, okay? I will tell you this— when I get this evidence out of here, I’m turning it right into the court.
George, Sr.: Are you kidding? I don’t care if the evidence gets out there. It gets me off the hook.
Michael: What are you saying, this exonerates you?
George, Sr.: I told you before I was a patsy. I was set up. I am tired of looking guilty.
Michael: Well, that’s... that’s great.
G.O.B.: (Gags.)
G.O.B.: Now who’s a horrible magician?
George, Sr.: That is a crown, you horse’s ass.
Maeby: And how does that make you feel?
College Kid #2: Awesome.
Narrator: And George Michael caught up with Maeby, determined to save her self-esteem.
George Michael: Look, I don’t want to ruin your fun, you know? But I hate to see guys treat you like this. You’re better than that. To me, anyway. You’re-you’re...
Maeby: Awesome?
George Michael: No, I was going to say you’re like this flower. And I know it’s springtime, but I hate to see you get plucked by someone who doesn’t even care that you’re blossoming.
Maeby: That’s what I’ve been waiting to hear.
Narrator: Maeby was referring to the dialogue, but George Michael had just rediscovered his feelings for his cousin.
George Michael: (On phone.) Hi, Ann. It’s George Michael Bluth. Um, when you get back into town, we should talk.
