Episode Transcript
Written by Jim Vallely and Mitchell Hurwitz.
Tobias: Michael... it saddens me greatly to say to you that I can no longer work at the Bluth Company. You’ve been a great boss...
Tobias: I have a tremendous opportunity now that the Blue Man Group has dropped their cease-and-desist and invited me to audition in Las Vegas. Also I’ve developed some issues with food...
Michael: I’m sorry to interrupt one more time. Is this the real Blue Man Group this time?
Tobias: Fortunately I found a wonderful circle of men to get me through that.
Tobias: Oh, before I forget— your old secretary Kitty Sanchez called and wanted to meet with you. I penciled her in for 4 o’clock today.
Michael: Why didn’t you tell me about this?
Tobias: Oh, this is my fault, too?! Everything... No! No! I will not let this make me eat!
Michael: So get this— tomorrow I have to go on record and say I don’t know where Dad is, okay? And now Kitty Sanchez wants to meet with me.
Narrator: And meetings with Kitty had never ended well.
Kitty: Spring break!
Kitty: Perhaps this will jog your memory.
Michael: Plus, Dad will not leave the attic, which means he’s going to get caught by the inspector, which means I’m going to get caught for hiding him.
G.O.B.: Why don’t you get G.O.B. to do your dirty work for you? Shall I knock Dad out and chain him to a pipe somewhere, or should I risk another herpes outbreak with Kitty? Which is it this time, Michael?!
Michael: Well, definitely not those two things. But are you upset about something, G.O.B.?
G.O.B.: How about the fact that I made you a thank-you gift last week, about which you haven’t said word one?
Michael: Come on, you asked me for $5,000 so that you could invest in a Franklin CD. Now, I assumed that you were talking about the mutual fund and not a compact disc of you singing to your hand.
Narrator: G.O.B. had recently made a recording of his ventriloquism act.
Engineer: “Franklin Comes Alive,” take one.
Narrator: He hoped it would break down racial barriers and maybe be a crossover hit.
G.O.B.: (Singing.) / It ain’t easy being white / (Singing, as Franklin.) / It ain’t easy being brown / (Singing, as himself.) / All this pressure to be bright / (Singing, as Franklin.) / I got children all over town / (Singing, as himself.) / Sometimes... / (In normal voice.) Hey, where’d the guy go?
G.O.B.: I tried to express something to you in a couple of those numbers and maybe, just maybe heal this country a little bit, but you, you didn’t even bother to listen to it.
Michael: (;It’s a good CD. It’s a really good CD.)
G.O.B.: I can’t believe that you love it.
Michael: I love it so much.
G.O.B.: And the card with your face on it?
