Episode Transcript
Written by Jim Vallely and Mitchell Hurwitz.
Narrator: And Ann in a protest at the theater.
Maeby: George Michael? Are you protesting this?
George Michael: This isn’t the line?
Ann 2.0: Yes, he is protesting it. He even helped me make the signs.
George Michael: Well, only mine and the one that says, “This is a tricky gray area.”
Movie Passerby: What are you guys protesting?
Ann 2.0: It’s a disgusting movie about cousins who are into each other.
Movie Passerby: Are there any more seats?
Maeby: Yeah. It’s the best 52 minutes you’ll spend all day.
Ann 2.0: Oh, no, we’re making it worse! Prepare to be swallowed into the depths of hell.
George Michael: So I guess that means no kiss?
Ann 2.0: I’m not really in the mood for a kiss. This isn’t Marc Cherry’s house.
Buster: Where’s your dad?
George Michael: I don’t know. I just got here.
Buster: Oh, that’s right, Mother told me he went to jail. Ah! I’m so mad at her. Guess who I just found out my father is?!
George Michael: Jail?
Buster: Oscar! He didn’t mean to tell me, but I figured it out.
George Michael: No, I mean, my dad is in jail?
Buster: Oh, I wouldn’t worry about it. Barry’s very good.
Buster: Okay, I’m going upstairs and take a long shower. I don’t even want to smell like Mother anymore.
George Michael: I don’t think we’re supposed to shower right now.
Lindsay: Tobias back yet?
George Michael: No.
Lindsay: Oh, my God, he’s really out with her.
George Michael: Are you drunk?
Lindsay: Not enough. I’ve pushed him right into someone else’s skanky, bony arms. Well, let me tell you something, George Michael: you have to grab love while you have it. Don’t let it get away.
Maeby: Oh, there you are. Hey, George Michael.
Lindsay: Oh, Maeby, everything’s fine! Your daddy’s just out. Yeah, we’re doing great. Mommy’s going to take a bath with a bottle of wine.
George Michael: I’m don’t know if we’re supposed to use the, um, the...
Maeby: So get this. All that press actually made the premiere a hit. I mean, there’s actually lines for the next show. Thanks, buddy. Hey, look at that. We didn’t get swallowed up into hell.
George Michael: laughs:My God.
Narrator: That’s when George Michael finally got close to Maeby, who, by the way, might not be his biological cousin.
Narrator: Just then, however, G.O.B. came home to retrieve his father from where he’d stashed him.
G.O.B.: Dad’s gonna be crushed!
George Michael: You don’t have to tell him!
Narrator: But G.O.B. was referring to his own father, who he had hidden under the house.
G.O.B.: Uh-oh.
Narrator: G.O.B. had hidden his father under a house that had just collapsed.
G.O.B.: Children, you’re small. Crawl under there.
