Episode Transcript
Written by Jim Vallely and Mitchell Hurwitz.
Maeby: I don’t want to go under there.
George Michael: We don’t want to go under there, G.O.B.
G.O.B.: He’s not under there. Oh, he got away, thank God.
Narrator: But then G.O.B. remembered that this meant Michael would have to go to prison.
G.O.B.: Michael.
George Michael: We...
Maeby: I...
Narrator: And Michael and Barry made their way to the arraignment.
Barry: You know what? G.O.B. is bringing your father. Everything is going to work out fine.
Michael: Well, I wish they’d hurry up. But you know what, Barry? I-I got to tell you. I am a little torn, you know? I mean, my father— I mean, he-he has created a lot of problems for the family and by staying in the attic, he was ensuring that I would go to jail with him, but... Well, maybe I’m not so torn. Let’s...
G.O.B.: Michael.
Michael: Hey, G.O.B.
G.O.B.: Barry.
Michael: Where’s Dad?
G.O.B.: Yes. Well, I handcuffed him under the house, but as it turns out, he got free, ’cause the pipes that I chained him to weren’t connected to anything.
Barry: Oh, I’m not prepared for this case.
Michael: Are you insane?
G.O.B.: So, no “Thank you for trying?”
Michael: Well, I’m getting really sick of you needing constant validation for screwing everything up, G.O.B. Let me tell you what’s gonna happen. I’m gonna take you in there with me right now, and I’m gonna tell them that it was you in the stair car.
G.O.B.: Well, let me tell you what’s gonna happen. First thing I’m gonna do is I’m gonna beat the crap out of you, then I’m gonna call an ambulance, then, knowing you, I’m gonna have to wait for some kind of an apology...
G.O.B.: Uh-oh.
Michael: Come here!
Narrator: As the boys set to once again fighting in front of the courthouse...
Lucille: Stop it! Stop it! What’s the matter with you? We got an arraignment.
Narrator: ...the family began to show up for the arraignment.
Tobias: Michael, uh, I know you’re in the middle of something, but I’m afraid I can’t work for you today. Um, I’m going to Vegas with Kitty.
Narrator: But Lindsay wasn’t about to lose her man without a fight.
Lindsay: Over my dead body!
Tobias: Oh, my God.
George, Sr.: Hey, enough, I said. Hey, I said... I said enough! Now stop it! I am so tired of this family fighting. The anger ends now. You’re brothers, and brothers stick together, no matter what. Families stick together. I have torn this family apart with my... with my lies and my cowardice. But that comes to and end now. So I’m turning myself in, and I don’t want you to come and visit me in prison this time... ’cause you deserve Oscar now.
Lindsay: Tobias, I actually fought for you.
Tobias: I can’t believe it. (Laughs.) I’m going to Vegas with Kitty.
Lindsay: Huh?
Lucille: Oh. Oh, George, I lost you again.
Buster: Take back Oscar, Mother.
Lucille: I think I lost him, too.
Narrator: In fact, Oscar was on his way out of town when he was approached by George, Sr...
George, Sr.: (Whistles.) Hey.
Narrator: who had just escaped from under the house.
George, Sr.: Time to make amends. Why don’t you turn me in so you can get the reward so you can take care of the family?
Oscar: Why would you do that for me?
