Episode Transcript
Written by Jim Vallely and Mitchell Hurwitz.
G.O.B.: I didn’t even know that we had a cabin.
Michael: Ah, bleep. Well, for what it’s worth, G.O.B., I’ve never actually been there.
Narrator: Although he’d often been promised.
George, Sr.: Hey, pal. Something’s come up. This nice young lady has lost her puppy, and your dad’s got to help her find him.
George, Sr.: Oh, bad news, buddy. This young lady’s dad is sick, and... I’m taking her to the hospital.
George, Sr.: Come on, you’re old enough to figure this out. I’m nailing this broad.
G.O.B.: Well, I will tell you this, Michael... I don’t have a son...
Narrator: He does.
G.O.B.: But if I ever do, I’m either going to take him to the cabin in the woods, or I’m going to promise to take him and then not take him. But the one thing that I will never do is not tell him that I’m taking him to a cabin in the woods, and then not take him!
Narrator: G.O.B. was growing up.
Michael: Well, the cabin in the woods is going to be stacked up next to our carport. But... maybe we should head up there tonight, huh? One first time...
Narrator: And soon Michael set off to prison, to tell off his father, when he discovered his son.
Michael: George Michael?
George Michael: Dad. Hey.
Michael: What are you doing?
George Michael: I didn’t want to miss you because you’ve been leaving so early lately.
Michael: You slept out here to see me?
Narrator: Michael had never been so touched by something his son had said... but it wasn’t true. He was hiding from his cousin, after an awkward incident. They’d since been trying to avoid each other, which was difficult, considering they shared a bunk bed.
George Michael: Oh, hi.
Maeby: Hi.
George Michael: I’m off to the car.
Maeby: I’ll be in the crawl space.
Michael: Tell you what. How would you like to head up to the cabin?
George Michael: Can you afford to skip work?
Michael: I think the president of a “Don’t Buy” company can afford to take a day off.
George Michael: We’re up from “Sell”? It’s happening, isn’t it?
Michael: It’s really happening.
Michael: And it’s time for us to start creating some memories. You know, there’s been enough disappointment in this family.
G.O.B.: There’s only one sleeping bag, so we’re going to have to double up. Pigs in a blanket!
CC: So get ready for some sword fighting, ’cause...
Michael: Sorry, pal, something came up.
G.O.B.: It is worse to know.
Narrator: G.O.B. was getting life lessons all over the place. And Michael broke a two-month silence and went to visit his father.
Oscar: You came! Someone came!
