Episode Transcript
Written by Jim Vallely and Mitchell Hurwitz.
Michael: Well, I guess I’m going to Reno to look for Dad.
G.O.B.: Good luck, favorite son.
Narrator: So once again Michael went after the father who’d once again abandoned him, only to find that he was about to do the same to his own son.
George Michael: It’s not happening, is it?
Michael: Something came up.
Narrator: Michael had just told his son they wouldn’t be going to the cabin.
George Michael: Right, but the cabin’s in Lake Tahoe. So I’m saying that’s right near Reno. We could just...
Michael: Yeah, but you know, this is going to be like an adult trip. Aunt Lindsay will be here. Hi.
Michael: Hey, why don’t you pop a tent in front with your cousin Maeby?
George Michael: What?! No!
Narrator: As Michael set out to find his father, G.O.B. thought he was doing the same.
Reunion Dad: There’s my guy! Hey, buddy, come on.
Steve Holt: Get them to track down your dad, too?
G.O.B.: My dad actually had them track me down.
Steve Holt: Oh.
G.O.B.: But it does look like he’s not going to show. I kind of feel like that kid who found the severed hand.
Steve Holt: “Hey, Dad, look what I found!”
G.O.B.: Anything for his father’s approval. Heartbreaking.
Steve Holt: You look familiar.
G.O.B.: I think that’s because we actually kind of look alike.
Narrator: Remember when I said G.O.B. had a son?
G.O.B.: I’m G.O.B.
Narrator: I wasn’t just saying that.
- Eve Holt
- According to the Narrator, G.O.B. was intimate with Eve Holt, she got pregnant, and had a baby, Steve Holt.
Steve Holt: Steve Holt! All I ever wanted was to spend a little time with my Dad. Maybe go camping. But I guess that’ll never happen.
G.O.B.: Look, I know this is going to sound kind of crazy, but my family actually has a cabin in the woods for one more night. Maybe we could go up to Reno, get the keys and go camping. You know, sort of a son-and-son thing.
Narrator: If Steve had had a father, he would’ve warned him not to go into the woods with strange men, but he didn’t.
Steve Holt: Sure! Let’s go!
G.O.B.: Okay! This is me right here.
Steve Holt: Oh, okay.
G.O.B.: Camping!
Steve Holt: Whoo!
Narrator: Michael, meanwhile, arrived in Reno, a city competing with Las Vegas’ successful “What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas” campaign, and set about searching for Barry Zuckerkorn.
Michael: I’m looking for a man who’s probably in the seedy underbelly of Reno.
Cab Driver #2: Oh, the Christian League had The Seedy Underbelly shut down. Now it’s a Swallows.
Narrator: Swallows was a family-style restaurant by day and an anything-goes, pan-sexual bazaar by night.
Tobias: Hello, and welcome to Swallows. Can I interest you in a smoothie or an amyl... Michael!
Michael: Tobias, I thought that you were in Vegas with Kitty in the Blue Man Group.
Tobias: No, as it turns out, the part that I’d destroyed my life to get had already been cast.
Narrator: The role was filled by George Sr., who used it to hide in plain sight. That is, until he choke on a marshmallow and almost died, when no one noticed he’d turned blue.
