Episode Transcript
Written by Tom Saunders.
Michael: You know, G.O.B., she’s not a dog. It’s the just opposite, actually. She’s exquisitely beautiful. She’s fun, carefree, smart, full of surprises.
Narrator: Including the fact that she was working with this man— who was currently dropping her off for her date.
Trevor: All this fun and carefree act is only going to fool him for so long.
Rita: I’m a big girl.
Trevor: Yeah. Well, if he finds out what you really are he might not make things so simple for you. Rita, don’t forget your hat.
Michael: I know, might be too good for me.
Lindsay: Yes, and you were almost arrested for those business cards.
Tobias: Yes. No, it did not look good on paper but I didn’t stop because of the police inquiries, I stopped to raise our little daughter. But since we have both started to grow hair in unexpected places, I suppose I shall soon be working as a leading man. And she may soon start dating.
Narrator: Maeby had already started dating.
Maeby: All right, see you tomorrow night.
George Michael: Another date with Steve Holt?
Maeby: Yeah. We’re getting pretty serious.
Narrator: They weren’t. She was just avoiding her real crush on George Michael.
Maeby: That Steve sure knows how to please a lady.
George Michael: Good. I was hoping he would be gifted sexually. I guess it makes sense, you know, older guys expect certain things.
Maeby: They do?
George Michael: What a fun, sexy time for you.
Bob Loblaw: I’d be very careful of these British people. They’re going to try to get their hands on any evidence they can to hurt the family.
George, Sr.: So you’re saying shred the evidence?
Bob Loblaw: No, that’s illegal. The prosecution is entitled to that evidence. Without it, they don’t have a case.
George, Sr.: So you’re saying shred the evidence?
Bob Loblaw: That’s a felony. And I certainly couldn’t endorse anything like that.
George, Sr.: Got ya. Wink.
Larry: Wink. Did you say “wink” or did you wink?
Michael: He said that, too, Dad.
Bob Loblaw: We’ll talk soon, folks. Thank you.
Larry: Where you going? Where is the surrogate going? Stay there. I want to see what he’s going to say. Don’t leave.
G.O.B.: See you, Pop.
Michael: Look. G.O.B., instead of trying to impress your fake father, maybe you should spend some time with your real son.
G.O.B.: Steve Holt’s not my son.
George Michael: Steve Holt? What, the moron jock?
G.O.B.: That’s my son, you pothead.
Michael: Hey, hey, hey, that’s my son.
George Michael: Wait, so that means that Steve Holt is my cousin? And Maeby’s cousin, too?
Michael: I guess.
Narrator: And Michael hurried to the British section Orange County for his date.
Voices: ...American! Get out of the road.
Narrator: Only to find that Rita had chosen Wee Britain’s one American-themed restaurant.
Michael: Oh, hello. I’m sorry I’m late.
Rita: Oh, no bother. I’ve been having such fun on this space shuttle.
