Episode Transcript
Written by Richard Day and Jim Vallely.
Buster: Goody, yeah. I do want to.
Larry: Yay, I do want to. Goody.
Narrator: G.O.B. was thrilled, as was Buster. Only Larry was disappointed. But he was such a pro, you’d never know it. And back at the gym, Tobias was finding out more about the project the agent had suggested.
Tobias: Come on, what are you gonna tell me? What do you got for me?
Frank: The Japanese investors you told us about are going over to your place today. I need you there when they are. We need you to be a mole.
Tobias: Oh, kind of a backer’s audition. Okay, I get it, all right. Well, then, Frank, I shall be a bigger, hairier mole than the one on your inner left thigh.
Narrator: And later, Michael and Rita were on the Tantamount Studios tour.
Frankie Muniz: (...he doesn’t understand about bovine spongiform encephalitis...)
Tour Guide: Hold, hold! Tram! Let’s get out of here, folks! Make some room!
Rita: Look, it’s Malcolm in the Middle.
Michael: In the middle of shooting, I guess.
Frankie Muniz: Oh, that’s okay. It’s more important to show how we make the show than to actually make it. bleep Tantamount.
Michael: Hello?
George Michael: Hey, Dad, they just dropped off the package you sent, but I don’t think I’m old enough.
Michael: Of course you are. I told you I want you to have a little fun. You’re not gonna break anything.
Narrator: But of course, Michael thought was talking about the train set. Not the extremely dangerous jet pack the boy had just found at the front door.
George Michael: Well, what if I crash it?
Michael: That’s half the fun.
Narrator: And soon the tour arrived at the Tunnel of Love, Indubitably...
Tour Guide: So take the hand of someone you love as we enter the Tunnel of Love, Indubitably— Tunnel of Hell!
Narrator: ...which still had some bugs to work out. But Michael was happy to hold the hand of someone he now realized he did love. And then he noticed her bracelet.
Narrator: Michael had just noticed that Rita was wearing a suspicious bracelet.
Michael: What does your bracelet say?
Rita: (Laughs.) Nothing. Oh, look, look! There they are on the bicycle made for two.
Michael: Says Mr. F, doesn’t it? Who is he?
Rita: Nobody... I can’t tell you! Oh, God. He followed us.
Michael: Wait a minute. You know that man?
Rita: It’s not what you think it is. He’s my uncle.
Michael: Is that Mr. F? What does he want?
Rita: He wants you out of the picture.
Trevor: Bloody right, I do!
Michael: Hey, hey! You lied to me, Rita. You made me turn against my family, but it’s over now.
Trevor: Oh! Me bleeps are wet.
Rita: (Softly.) Michael.
Narrator: And Maeby received a call about the latest lava cauldron accident.
Maeby: Already? It’s only been an hour. I’m going to lose this job. Maybe I should let Mort take me out to dinner.
Michael: Maeby!
Maeby: Okay, I’m definitely gonna lose this job— I can explain.
Michael: Rita set me up, set us all up. This beautiful, funny, brilliant woman was a spy. Everybody was right, it was too good to be true! And I am turning her in. Let me tell you something else. I would not want to be the next woman who tries to fool me.
Maeby: Well, that was a freebie.
Narrator: George Michael, meanwhile, was trying to solve a mystery of his own. The jet pack had come with an instructional DVD that seemed to confuse more than clarify. What was clear was that the gift was extremely dangerous.
Japanese demonstration narration continues.
