Episode Transcript
Written by Jake Farrow and Sam Laybourne.
Rita: Huh? Huh?
Michael: Ready?
Rita: Oh.
Trevor: Hey! Stop that. Both of you come back!
Rita: You can’t stop us!
Michael: Nothing can stop us now. Nothing in the world of man nor beast, nor time is...
Applause and whistling.
CC line not heard: I hate that ( bleep ) doll.
Narrator: And so, reunited with Rita, Michael told his parents he’d be getting married tomorrow.
George, Sr.: (On phone.) Well, God help her if she tries to rename Bluthton. I’ll sink it first. I swear, I’ll sink the whole damn thing.
George, Sr.: (To Lucille.) They’re going through with it... tomorrow.
Narrator: But that’s when George and Lucille had a surprise visitor.
Trevor: All right, where the hell is Rita? I’m her uncle.
Lucille: Let the hand-outs begin!
Trevor: There’s not gonna be any hand-outs, and she is not gonna marry your son.
George, Sr.: You’re against this marriage, too?
Trevor: Well, of course I am. Rita’s not capable of making a decision like that. You are not gonna get Rita’s millions just because she’s mentally challenged.
George, Sr.: Millions?
Lucille: Millions?
Buster: Mentally challenged?
Lucille: Shh! It’s not polite.
Trevor: She owns all of Wee Britain. And also the Wee Britain in Cleveland. Of course, we’re probably gonna lose all that if her ridiculous idea for Sea Britain goes through.
George, Sr.: We are not after her money.
Lucille: And I don’t think Michael even knows about her... condition.
Trevor: Yes, it’s funny how Americans don’t pick up on that. I think it’s ’cause of her accent and the plastic surgery she’s been able to afford. We wouldn’t have this trouble if they’d met last year. I got to put a stop to this. We’re gonna search every bloody hotel in town.
Lucille: Oh, Legoland. I think they said they were going to Legoland.
George, Sr.: They did say Legoland.
Buster: I didn’t hear anything about Legoland.
Lucille: He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. We think he may be mentally challenged.
Buster: What?
Trevor: All right then.
George, Sr.: We have got 24 hours to get them married before Michael figures out what she really is.
Lucille: This the first time in two years you’ve sounded like George Bluth.
Buster: (Groans.)
Narrator: Later at night, Michael was at the hotel with his bride to be.
Michael: Rita, I’ve been really looking forward to this.
Rita: Me, too. I want to have sexual relations.
- the mere fact... means that you’re not ready
- Michael also says that the mere fact that Rita calls it “sexual relations” means she is ready.
Michael: Mere fact that you call it that tells me that you are ready.
Rita: That’s why I brought this.
Michael: (Laughs.) No.
Michael: Why don’t you go ahead and whip out that tiny teddy, and then we’re gonna think up a fun safe word, okay? (Answers door.) George Michael. I did not know that you were... Um, go ahead and.. talk out here.
