Episode Transcript
Written by Karey Dornetto.
Tobias: I’m afraid I’m with Michael on this. The guy runs a prison, he can have any piece of ass he wants.
Michael: And if he likes her in that sense, it makes it even worse. I don’t want Mom mixed up with the sort of creep that would have her as a fetish.
Lindsay: Oh, Michael, you’re just feeling neglected by your mother. You wanted to go to this with her, didn’t you?
Michael: Hey, I don’t need to take my mom to a gala, okay? On losers go to those things with their parents, I’m going with my son.
George Michael: Oh, I may skip that, I don’t like galas.
Narrator: Actually, he loved galas, all kids do.
Tobias: Oh, come on, don’t leave your Uncle Teabag hanging.
George Michael: Please don’t call yourself that.
Narrator: What he was having trouble with was looking directly at his dying uncle.
Michael: I can’t stand by and watch Mom get hurt. I have to get down there.
G.O.B.: This is heartbreaking. Got to get this for the video. Hey, George Michael, you want to put your head down there by his drainage shunt.
Narrator: Buster, meanwhile, was also feeling abandoned by Mother.
Buster: Mother! I have no one.
Narrator: But at that very moment, his true father returned.
Oscar: Oh, a hug. Nice. You haven’t seen a little box with a turtle on it, have you?
Buster: Oh, yeah. My turtle was living in it before he ate all the grass and died.
Oscar: He ate all the grass?
Buster: Yeah.
Oscar: Well, it’s been great catching up.
Buster: Wait, wait, wait, where are you going?
Oscar: No, I can’t stay, because if my brother finds out that I’m here, he can try switching places again, and I can’t go back to prison.
Buster: Wait, wait, wait. If my father comes in, you can hide in one of G.O.B.’s tricks.
Oscar: I can’t.
Narrator: And Maeby was having harder time finishing Warden Gentiles’ screenplay than he did.
Maeby: You’re a reader. How’d you like to read something fun that we could talk about on the way to the prison gala?
George Michael: Oh, I’m actually going to sit that out. I’m just burnt out on prisons lately.
Maeby: Well, this might change your mind.
George Michael: Is that a screenplay?
Maeby: Well, that’s what you’re going to tell me.
Narrator: And Michael raced to warn his mother of the warden’s intentions.
- staircar
- The guard says that stair car parking is not permitted at the prison, refering to Visiting Ours when an inmate escapes by running on the staircar stairs.
Prison Guard: You can’t park there! No stair car parking!
Michael: Sorry, I forgot.
Michael: Sorry.
Lucille: Everything looks delicious.
Warden Gentiles: Oh, One Eye’s a wonderful chef. I’ve had to go to his parole hearings twice, and lie through my teeth to keep him here.
Lucille: (Laughing.)
