Making A Stand
Written by Mitchell Hurwitz and Chuck Tatham.
Eblin: ¡Si!
Narrator: The tapes were a big hit in Latin America.
Lucille: Don’t look at me. I had nothing to do with them. Except for some of the Baby Buster shorts.
George, Sr.: Maybe I was trying to teach you something. Maybe I was trying to teach you how to compete. I didn’t do it with Buster and look how he turned out.
Rolando: Is Buster.
Memo: Bebe Buster.
Eblin: Yo quiero leche, yo quiero leche del madre.
Memo: Even though I’m so old.
Michael: Boy, those tapes made quite an impression on these three painters.
Buster: I think I turned out pretty darned well, myself.
George, Sr.: Oh, you just turned out great. I used my contacts to get you a job, and you quit!
Narrator: The job was at an Iraqi-owned toy store that was hoping to deter shoplifting.
Mr. al-Jibaaly Muhammed a-Abat: Okay, I’ll just take off this cheap fake, huh? And we going to put on this sign. Beautiful. You like?
Buster: They only wanted me because I had one hand. And I won’t do it! That’s not the way Mother is raising me.
Michael: Like I won’t compete with my older brother anymore, despite the way Father raised me. We’ll show you.
Buster: Just like I showed Mr. al-Jibaaly Muhammed a-Abat. I stole the sign. Of course I left my hand there also.
Narrator: But FAO al-Jibaaly Muhammed a-Abat wasn’t the only one having trouble scaring kids. So was Hollywood’s third youngest movie studio executive, Maeby Fünke.
Movie Trailer: The creature’s in your imagination.
Mort Meyers: That’s a bloodsucker? It looks like Alf. You got a week to fix it.
Man: You must be the creature that ate our cat!
Narrator: And Michael met up with G.O.B.
Michael: Hey, G.O.B., why didn’t you tell me that Colombian thing was Dad’s idea?
G.O.B.: Well, Dad said not to, because you don’t think I’m smart and that I should take credit for it.
Michael: Well, it was just Dad trying to turn us against each other again. And of course, I think you’re smart, okay? Hey, what’s going on down there? What are you doing?
G.O.B.: You don’t want a hungry dove down your pants. That’s how Tony Wonder lost a nut.
G.O.B.: O.K., I know that I don’t know about this housing stuff, but I’ve got this Christian girlfriend now, and she’s trying to get me to be a better man and reconnect with my son. And I’m trying to get her to renounce God and bleep me. And I just want to prove to her that I’m worth it.
Michael: Well, as always, G.O.B., a mixed bag there, but the middle part sounded pretty admirable for a second, so here’s what I want to do. I want to get you your own bana stand franchise, and you can have Steve work at it.
G.O.B.: You’d do that for me?
Michael: Yes. Yeah, you can design your own shack...
G.O.B.: Choose my own location?
Michael: Whatever you want. You’re gonna be 100% in charge, all right? But the most important thing is that we never let Dad turn us against each other again.
G.O.B.: Thanks, Michael.
Narrator: And a few days later, Michael got a call from his son.
George Michael: Did you know G.O.B. started a banana stand?
Michael: Yeah, that was my idea. I’m trying to get us to be less competitive.
George Michael: That’s gonna be difficult. Plus, they have a very aggressive slogan.
Narrator: G.O.B. had opened a new frozen banana stand, like, 20 feet from the old frozen banana stand.
