George, Sr.: We’ll throw a legal defense fund dinner. Ask for donations.
Lucille: As long as we don’t look desperate. We want them to think we’ll take their help, but we don’t need it. I should be seen a lot at the club.
Michael: Yeah, our backs are against the wall, and it’s hard to accept that it’s really come to begging.
George, Sr.: Some times it’s the only way to stay in the game.
Narrator: Please tell your friends about this show.
Narrator: Michael had asked Lindsay to take care of the house, and to his surprise...
Michael: You’re sort of doing it.
Narrator: ... she was sort of doing it.
Lindsay: Yeah, check it out. I found that canned ham that we’d had forever, and I put it in a pot of boiling water, and guess what I’m calling it?
Lindsay: Hot ham water.
Lindsay: You know, I’m actually a really good mom. I think it’s ’cause Maeby’s never around.
Lindsay: You should send George Michael to Openings, too.
Tobias: Yes, it could help him express his feelings.
Michael: My son expresses himself just fine. Isn’t that right, son?
George Michael: What? Yeah... fine. Uh, yes, I don’t care. Stop.
Tobias: Yes, he’s a regular Freddie Wilson, that one.
Michael: I don’t know that reference.
Lindsay: I don’t either.
Tobias: I don’t know either.
Narrator: It’s this guy.
Michael: My son’s just fine where he is. And he’s got the SAT’s coming up. You got to do well on those. You studying upstairs?
George Michael: Yeah, I’m just taking a three real quick, so I can get a cream soda.
Lindsay: Oh, I’ll get that for you.
George Michael: No, I will get it. I have to get it myself. Just, relax... just check the stove.
Tobias: You know, Michael, if I may take off my acting pants for a moment and pull my analrapist stocking over my head, George Michael has been acting strange lately. I think he may have developed what we in the soft sciences refer to obsessive-compulsive disorder. Or the O.C. disorder.
Michael: Don’t call it that.
Tobias: I think ultimately it’s because he’s afraid to express himself.
Narrator: Actually, it was because he was afraid his Aunt Lindsay was going to burn the house down.
Lindsay: (On phone.) Hi, how are you? (Pouring baking soda and cream together.) Cream soda.
Lindsay: Maybe he does need this school. Did you see this letter? You know, it’s done wonders for Maeby.
Michael: “Maeby is an exceptional young lady.”
Michael: “We are sure at she is destined for great things...”
Lindsay: Great things.
Michael: “...and we wish her luck in all her...” It says, “over.” Probably have to crack this open to be sure, but this sounds like an expulsion letter. “She’s never been to class.”
Lindsay: What kind of boarding school would lose track of its students?
Michael: Openings is not a boarding school.
Tobias: I thought it was a boarding school, too.
Narrator: Actually, Maeby had been on the set of a film called Snowboarding School 2, in her secret life as a film executive.
Michael: There goes that non-refundable tuition. You know, it is the one rule that they do have there.