Faking It
Written by Dean Lorey and Chuck Tatham.
Judge Reinhold: Well, I’m very curious to see where this is going. I’m going to allow it. But I’m warning you, Mr. Bluth, this better make for a good promo.
Michael: I was approached by the real prosecution recently, and was asked if I would be willing to turn on my family and save myself. G.O.B.? Would you please press the “play” button on the tape recorder inside the puppet.
Wayne Jarvis: (On recording.) If you don’t do it, we’re going to go after “N. Bluth,” and we think that’s you.
Michael: (On recording.) You’re asking me to conspire against my own client. Couldn’t you go to jail for that?
Wayne Jarvis: Why do there have to be puppets like Frank?
Judge Reinhold: Well, it looks like we’ve got a mistrial. But on the plus side, we’ve also got a Hung Jury—hit it!
William Hung: / Mock trial with J. Reinhold / / Mock trial / / Mock trial with J. Reinhold / / Mock trial / / Mock trial with J. Reinhold... /
George, Sr.: You did good out there, Michael. But it’s just a mock trial. Why don’t you just take it to the grand jury?
Michael: I wanted to prove to you that I could do it. I’m going to a grand jury with that now.
Narrator: Actually, Michael had no idea that’s what he was supposed to do.
Jan Eagleman: Nice job. You have a real shot. You all stuck together, and that’s what wins case.
George, Sr.: We don’t abandon each other.
Michael: No one’s closer than the Bluth family.
Narrator: They were.
Father Ben: I now pronounce you husband and wife.
Narrator: For as it turns out, the fake priest was called to a patient’s room, and Father Ben filled in—not knowing it was fake. And that’s how the kids got married.
Narrator: On the next Arrested Development, Mock Trial With J. Reinhold leads to imitators...
Narrator: ... and Michael discovers that he wasn’t “N. Bluth” after all.
Michael: I have an older sister?
Narrator: So much for not abandoning family.
END.
