Family Ties
Written by Rob Weiner.
Lindsay: We’re twins. You didn’t give me access to the banking.
Michael: No, you’d just, you’d go out and you’d just whore it up, Lindsay, you know? Now she’s different. She’s a little bit more like me. It’s like we finish each other’s...
Lindsay: Sandwiches?
Michael: Sentences. Why would I say...?
Lindsay: Sandwiches?
Michael: That time I was going to say sandwiches.
Lindsay: So I guess you haven’t told Nellie what you’re thinking.
Michael: No, I have not I’ve been waiting for the right time. I want to make sure that she trusts me, you know. Especially since Dad is probably setting her up. But I might want to hurry with that whole operation because she’s charging us a fortune, and of course, she’s got this old boss that’s claiming he wants a percentage.
G.O.B.: (On phone, unbeknownst to Michael.) Yo, man, you owe me money. I ain’t no dummy. It better be soon or you’re going to feel my hand up your bleep.
Michael: So Nellie wants to meet me tonight for drinks. Maybe I’ll tell her then.
Lindsay: That’s funny. I’m going out tonight for drinks, too, with an exciting new man.
Lindsay: (Sighs.)
Narrator: And Michael arrive for his meeting with Nellie.
Bartender: Are you Michael?
Michael: Yes.
Bartender: There’s a Nellie at the end of thear who wants to see you.
Michael: Great. Thank you. Oh, it’s Tobias.
Tobias: Michael, look, this has got to stop. I mean, flattered? Yes. Intested? Not tonight.
Michael: I-I think I see what’s happening. You’re meeting girl Michael at the bar?
Tobias: It was her idea. She wanted to get a drink. I know it’s crazy. I mean, I’m married. And the carbs!
Michael: That’s why sometimes life is about making difficult...
Tobias: Sandwiches. I know.
Michael: You read my mind.
Tobias: Oh, God, here she is.
Michael: Next to that guy?
Tobias: What guy?
Michael: That guy.
Tobias: No, that’s her.
Michael: Him?
Tobias: That’s a girl. I think the name “Michael” is making you look for a man.
Michael: I think I’m looking at a man.
Tobias: Michael.
Michael: Yes?
Girl Michael: Yes?
Tobias: No, I meant Girl Michael.
Michael: I’m gonna leave you two alone.
Girl Michael: So nice to meet you, Girl Michael.
Michael: Hello? Yes? Hi, Nellie. I was thinking that we could meet down here, um... Actually, I think I’m going to come up.
Nellie: I really need to see you.
Michael: Yeah, I really wanted to see you, too. There’s something we need to talk about.
Nellie: I’ve always been mildly attracted to you.
