Narrator: It’s Arrested Development.
Narrator: Michael was preparing his sister for her upcoming deposition in the case against their father.
Michael: If they say “Did you know of any financial improprieties,” you’ll...?
Lindsay: Unbutton my shirt a bit and give him this look.
Michael: Not really sure what you’re going for there.
Lindsay: Yeah, I’m sorry, I drank a lot last night.
Michael: Yeah, why were you drinking?
Tobias: If I look like a man who made love to his wife last night, it’s because I almost did.
Lindsay: That’s why.
Narrator: But Tobias had a low tolerance for alcohol.
Tobias: (Slurring.) You look very hans...
Michael: And so you just finished off the bottle?
Lindsay: Well, I had to. It’s vodka. It goes bad once it’s opened.
Michael: I think that’s another one of Mom’s little fibs.
Michael: You know, like “I’ll sacrifice anything for my children.”
Lindsay: Speaking of Mom... she really doesn’t want me to do this deposition.
Michael: Well, you have to, Lindsay. Sorry, you’ve been subpoenaed.
Tobias: I’m afraid I might not be able to be deposed either. I got a call out of the blue for a chance to play a very important part in The Prosecution.
Michael: The prosecution called you?
Tobias: I assume it’s a CBS procedural. Although they didn’t send sides, so I thought I’d trot out a Vagina Monologue, or something else I know. And they did ask for old photos a documents so I went and got these out of the secret room.
Michael: The prosecution is not a TV show. It’s clearly somebody in the D.A.’s office trying to get you to flip. These guys will bend the law to enforce the law.
Tobias: Tell me that’s not a CBS franchise.
Michael: I’m serious, Tobias. Why else would they want all these documents?
Tobias: For set dressing, silly. Those Hollywood shows are so incredibly detailed.
Michael: Well, you’re going to call them and tell them you’re not interested. We all have to be careful, okay? The prosecution is going to be coming after all of us.
George Michael: Including me?
Michael: Hmm? No. You don’t have any secrets.
George Michael: Oh. (Chuckling nervously.) Yeah, , I... Um, hey, speaking of that, uh... it’s actually her birthday soon, so I thought we could all do something for her.
Michael: Whose birthday?
George Michael: Maeby’s. I was changing the subject. We— no, yeah, we weren’t talking about Maeby. But she’s been feeling kind of left out of the family lately so I thought maybe we could throw her a surprise party, you know.
Narrator: Actually, he’d already told her about it.
Maeby: Well, I just poured Mom into bed. Would it kill her to let some vodka go bad?
George Michael: Oh, no, vodka doesn’t...
Maeby: You know, it’s my birthday in a week and I bet you they don’t even know. They forget every year. I should just move out.
George Michael: But they’re planning a surprise party for you. They wouldn’t forget your 16th birthday.
Lindsay: Oh, my gosh. Our little girl’s turning 14.
George Michael: 16, actually.
Tobias: Well, I am off to buy the perfect present. Maybe she’d like a suit like this.
Narrator: That is her suit.
Tobias: They probably don’t make it in a woman’s though.
Narrator: They only make it in a woman’s.
Tobias: Well, I’m off, my love.