Exit Strategy
Written by Jim Vallely and Mitchell Hurwitz.
Richard Shaw: You’ll have plen of time for ice cream in prison. Ice cream sandwiches. CIA undercover.
Michael: CIA. Of course. This explains why it was so easy to get you out of prison.
Richard Shaw: I knew that if he got out he would lead us right to whatever your dad was hiding.
Narrator: They’d even created opportunities for this to happen.
Prison Guard: Get in the cell, stupid.
G.O.B.: You... you... you’re the one who didn’t even shut the door. Come on!
G.O.B.: Yeah, you guys can run this place without us. As soon as you stop dropping your keys. Come on!
Richard Shaw: We’ve been looking for WMD’s for years.
Saddam #4: WMD’s? This thing is as fake as Achmed’s mustache. See?
Michael: Yeah, look, it’s a Homefill. It’s the company that makes the fake stuff we fill the model homes with.
Richard Shaw: What the hell?
Michael: What is that, a recording device?
Richard Shaw: This is our stuff. Okay, I got to call this in.
Michael: Buster, please.
Baker: Baker. No, it doesn’t sound like CIA East. I’ll check with CIA West. Did we bug a house in Mamoon?
- CIA file
- The CIA file says that George, Sr. is an “unintentional operative.” The full text reads: “Operative contacted to build housing in the country of Iraq for the purpose of extracting information within the confines of laws regarding ...
Tango: Yeah. We got some guy named George Bluth to build houses down there so we could wire them.
Richard Shaw: (Sighs.)
George Michael: Look, I’m Uncle Buster.
Maeby: (Laughing.)
George Michael: I’m sorry no one from the family came.
Maeby: Sometimes I wish I wasn’t even part of the family.
George Michael: No, don’t... no... I’ve never wanted to say this... but you might not even be related to us.
Maeby: No.
George Michael: ’Cause Gangee once said to me, your mom might not have ever even been pregnant with you.
Maeby: Okay, now you’re just saying that to make me feel better.
George Michael: No, I’m... I wouldn’t. Everyone still loves you. Some more than others.
Narrator: And perhaps it was the fake wine, but that was the night George Michael and Maeby went to second base.
Michael: So my dad was a patsy?
Richard Shaw: We call them “unintentional operations victims,” but yes. We ran the whole operation through a British building company.
Michael: And they contacted my dad for the plans. I can’t believe it— after all of that he wasn’t lying.
Richard Shaw: Look, we feel terrible because this is really our mistake. But I’m afraid I’m going to have to take you guys out.
Michael: Take us out?
Buster: Where?
G.O.B.: I could really go for some Italian.
Saddam #2: There is an Olive Garden in Mamoon.
Saddam #4: I think he means to shoot you in the head. But please, at least let him look at the air-conditioning.
Michael: Sir, if you’re worried about us talking, we will not say a word.
