#1 Mark wrote on November 30, 2004:
Lucille: Oh, Gene! Oh, Gene! Isn’t he the best?!
Narrator: Gene was far from the best.
This one is the best!
#2 iheartgobmore wrote on February 13, 2005:
"To the nuts!"
#3 Jump wrote on February 22, 2005:
im looking for the episode in which the lamb invades buster’s pictures and the narrator’s quote that goes with it. can anyone help me out?
#4 Mike wrote on February 25, 2005:
The episode you’re looking for is "Staff Infection," Ep. 15 from the first season. There’s the sheep metaphor throughout the episode when the Bluth Company employees end up in Catalina. This is also the one where we’re introduced to G.O.B.’s Chicken Dance. (Buster: "Chickens don’t clap!"). Quality episode.
#5 Katie wrote on March 07, 2005:
I liked when Gob released the sea and said something along the lines of "You’re not going to be hand fed anymore." hahaha
#6 Katie wrote on March 07, 2005:
sea = seal
#7 jen wrote on March 09, 2005:
Michael: Two sticks and extra chocolate?? Is it Mardi Gras?
#8 nessa wrote on April 03, 2005:
i love ready aim marry me...i love the
CHAW CHEE0CHAW CHEE-CHAW..i couldnt stop laughing lol
#9 katie wrote on April 06, 2005:
Still, where did the lighter fluid come from?
#10 getting a stew on wrote on April 22, 2005:
Kitty: That’s actually not any of your business. My business...That’s not any of my business.
Lucille: Lucille two is not a "b", mother. And she’s a lot better woman than the WHORE I’m dating now.
Michael: Can we please keep some of the more piercing profanities down whent he 90-yr.-old fitness buff arrives?
#11 artvandelay wrote on April 27, 2005:
Michael to Job: Get rid of the Seward.
Lucille: I’ll leave when i’m good and ready!
#12 justiceisblind wrote on May 07, 2005:
Maggie Lizer: I’m blind!
Michael: I’m wasted!
#13 Jules wrote on July 29, 2005:
Most underrated quote
After he finds out Lucille is having sex with Oscar first hand he knocks over some pictures)
Lucille: What are you doing?
George Sr. "Im on mushrooms... Im on bad mushrooms’
#14 offthehook wrote on October 23, 2005:
#15 magicalGOB wrote on November 02, 2005:
Just ring it up with the dong tea.
#16 Quincy Forest wrote on November 07, 2005:
G.O.B.: "Great news, Michael. Dad wasn’t crushed to death!"
Michael: "Was there risk of that?"
#17 maeby_a_cuz wrote on November 09, 2005:
How about Ann 2.0 and a camel toe
Tobias telling George Michael "to have sex right now"
#18 ett wrote on December 07, 2005:
What was Rita’s quote when Gob sprayed her with lighter fluid?
"ooh! Just like Uncle Trevor!" or something...
#19 weirdbrotherofprimerib wrote on December 08, 2005:
just caught something in Meet the Veals that I hadn’t before.
Buster: I think my father was here.
Oscar: Maybe he still is.
Michael: Oh shut up.
And then after a few seconds of Oscar spacing out...
Oscar: Oh you shut up!
#20 dormant25 wrote on December 20, 2005:
I think the guy who quips "Is this going to be unscripted like Curb?" actually plays a recurring role as a janitor in Larry David’s office. (Jeff Greene is the movie producer obviously)
#21 blameitallon911 wrote on December 28, 2005:
my fave is tobias (looking ultra serious and stern) saying something like:
"...or the scabs come right off".
#22 jrodarz wrote on December 29, 2005:
How about this one?
Barry: I could kiss you in the (BEEP)
Michael: Yeah, well... WHAT?
And another one:
Tobias: This agility?
#23 The Solution wrote on December 29, 2005:
Michael: Yeah, that’s not an act. He’s twice tried to microwave a Ding Dong while it was still in its foil... twice.
Wayne Jarvis: Twice?
Michael: Two times.
#24 Chi Meson wrote on January 10, 2006:
Fave quate that’s not even on the quote list:
Buster: Hey brothers.(smashes window)
#25 enchantingfreak wrote on January 18, 2006:
I’m sure these are already listed but I love ’em alot soooo here...
Lucille: You want your seat to buckle, not your chair.
GOB: Smooth Michael. Just like her Father’s head, chest, arms, legs and ass.
MICHAEL: What are you talking about?
GOB: He’s hairless Michael it’s a condition. I hate the guy but atleast he’s got balls. Satiny and smooth probably.
#26 I Got A Stew Going wrote on January 21, 2006:
My favorite quote is the stew goin’ line by Carl Weathers
#27 enchantingfreak wrote on January 23, 2006:
baby you got a stew goin. hahahahaha, yeah all the times he brought up the stew was awesome.
#28 PinkPoodle wrote on January 25, 2006:
Maeby: Do you guys know where I could get one of those gold necklaces with the ‘T’ on it?
Michael: That’s a cross.
Maeby: Across from where?
Gold Mitchell, Gold.
#29 staircar2.0 wrote on February 01, 2006:
#30 Chicle wrote on February 11, 2006:
*Michael is ready to become the new Bluth Company CEO.*
George, Sr.: "...the smartest Bluth..."
George, Sr.: "...my favorite Bluth..."
*Michael is noticeably even more happy.*
George, Sr.: "...and certainly the SEXIEST CREATURE I have ever laid eyes on..."
*Michael makes an odd face, then shrugs.*
#31 sadamn_lover wrote on February 12, 2006:
Tobias: Oh my gosh, we’re having a fire... sale!
Ahh! The burning, it burns me!
Evaculate all the school children!
Can’t even see the door...
This isn’t a fever!
Roger Danish: You don’t want to try that ... simpler maybe?
Tobias: (Thinks for a minute, sighs, and then smiles as he shakes his head) No.
I know this is probably in the quotes thing.. but am I to understand I must read all 193 pages of quotes? Not even if I’d get grilled cheese!
#32 MotherboyXXIX wrote on March 23, 2006:
Is there a consensus as to what all G.O.B. is actually saying when he’s listing all the bleeped-out sexual things that the people in the office are not allowed to do in "Afternoon Delight"?
#33 Lampehus wrote on May 13, 2006:
From "Marta Complex"
G.O.B. : Speech, speech, speech!
Everyone : (while clapping) Speech, Speech, Speech, Speech!
Narrator : The family continued to chant speech, speech, speech to no one in particular
I love that scene.
#34 Honei wrote on May 23, 2006:
’Alias was a show about a ssss...spy!’
He is in his own little world.
#35 Ooo!_A_Scheagle! wrote on August 05, 2006:
This is already in there, but its still one of my favorite scenes...
Lindsay: Chaw, chee-chaw, chee-chaw.
G.O.B.: Oh, this is priceless.
Michael: You look ridiculous...
G.O.B.: Coka-coh! Coka-coh! Coka-coka-coka-coh...
Michael: Come on. These aren’t even birds.
#36 fightingforair wrote on August 11, 2006:
i like in the delted scenes from shock and aww when george michael is working on his saddam hussein poster for ms. barely, and maeby walks in and makes a comment on it and walks away, and george michael goes
"whatever, i’m so over you"
mrs. featherbottom: "take your fun-fun"
maeby: "that’s phen-phen. and it’s my mothers. and it’s been banned by the fda"
mrs. featherbottom: "well...you....should...always read the label. you should always read it well. in the most DELICIOUS waaaay"
lucille: "i’ll have the ike and tina tuna"
waitress: "plate or platter?"
lucille: "i don’t understand the question, and i wont respond to it"
#37 The Solution wrote on September 09, 2006:
Tobias: "if I may take off my acting pants for a moment and pull my analrapist stocking over my head...."
I know it is up there, but I laughed harder at that line than anything else ever.
"I’ll be your wing man! Even if it means me taking a chubby, I wil sssssuck it up."
"Come on, don’t leave your uncle T-bag hanging."
"I just can’t seem to get one in the can."
"It’s nice to be back in a queen."
"Let me...out that queen."
#38 ATL_BOB wrote on December 08, 2006:
I know "everyone is cornhole-ing" has to be in the Favorite Quotes somewhere.
I also like this exchange:
Tobias Fünke: Are you calling me a coward?
Warden Stefan Gentles: There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you...is a television actor.
Tobias Fünke: Ouch
#39 Mrs Fingerbottom wrote on January 13, 2007:
I love the part where Tobias is acting like a cat, stretching out all over the sofa - great continuation..
..and to top it off, it’s shortly followed by him pouncing on GOB’s back ’this kind of agility’. Love it.
Oh and ’(AL) ARM OFF’. makes me smile just thinking about it.
"I’m a MONSTER!!!"
and each characters individual chicken impression is a great theme throughout. ’have you guys even seen a chicken’ & "CHICKENS DON’T CLAP!!".
I like to think they’ve all got their own godzilla impression too - my fave is Buster’s:
I miss this show
#40 uncle-father-oscar wrote on February 13, 2007:
i love when george michael comes to michaels hotel room to tell him about rita...
michael: we just came from the bum paddle courts, tomorrow i’m going to teach her baseball
george michael: that might take a while
#41 lopedizzy wrote on March 03, 2007:
Lucille: "Lupe! There are some plates on the sofa table."
Lindsay: "Oh, Momma, I’ll help you clean up....[to Lupe]: There are some glasses on the piano."
#42 Business_model wrote on May 08, 2007:
these are some good ones too:
Michael: We can’t build a house in two weeks. Also, I’m not so sure how “solid as a rock” helps people forget the fact that we built houses in Iraq.
Judge Ping: Mr. Zuckerkorn, you’ve been warned about touching.
Barry: You said spanking
Michael: George Michael, I’m sure that Egg is a very nice person. I just don’t want you spending all your money...
George Michael: Ann.
Michael: ... getting her all glittered up for Easter, you know?
#43 professionalhippie wrote on July 17, 2007:
i’m going to make a mess with this quote but the idea is there:
tobias- let me take off my secretary skirt and put on my barbara streisand in prince of tides ass masking pants
#44 impudent wrote on May 06, 2008:
Gob - "It’s not a trick Michael, it’s an illusion. A trick is something a whore does for money (looks around at children)- or cocaine..."
#45 Tecrane86 wrote on October 14, 2008:
Tobias: And I’m the laaaaaaaaaaast cop you’d wanna meet in a darkened alley... dark alley...
#46 Butters wrote on December 10, 2008:
Sure this is up there, but my favorite quote is this one.
Narrator: Lucille was suffering from a hangover-related headache and sought her medication. That’s when she mistook the red eye alcohol warning for a winking-eye alcohol suggestion.
#47 dspa wrote on January 06, 2009:
I laughed my ass off when the rollerblader guy yells " leash your dog #$&*!" to Michaels "faking being blind" attorney girlfriend.
#48 bonus_penny wrote on January 11, 2009:
In Afternoon Delight: At the office Christmas party Gob gets the party started with music. He says along with the melody, "everybody dance now" - then more sternly, "everybody dance, NOW"
#49 grimurd wrote on March 20, 2009:
I’d really like to see this exchange in the quotes for Season 3’s ’Making a Stand’:
George Michael: Dad, it’s okay, we can just work together with them, you know.
Steve Holt: Yeah, I mean, that makes sense, I mean, we don’t even know the recipe.
George Michael: Oh, it’s no recipe, you just freeze the banana and then you stick it into...
Michael: Don’t tell them!
Steve Holt: Stick it into what? Stick it into what?!?
Alternatively closing off with:
G.O.B.: No, it’s okay son! We’ll figure it out! When we do, we’ll have the last laugh. We’ll be the laughing stock of the board walk!
#50 Bluther wrote on April 26, 2009:
Barry: so sorry im late i had another hearing. Heres the good news i think im gonna get off huh, i have a good lawyer.
another great part is when tony wonder hits his leg on the chair and everyone is thinks hes gonna do a magic trick and then hes like"Darrel i told you to move that funkin chair ten times. and clean the funkin dumbwaiter while your at it"