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Charity Drive

Episode Transcript

Written by Barbie Feldman Adler.

Page: 1 2 3 >> 8 Next >

Revision: 1.16

Narrator: Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together. It’s Arrested Development.


Narrator: Michael Bluth always rode his bike to work, but the recent heat wave had taken some of the fun out of it. It had also caused problems in his presentation to the Bluth Company investors.

Investor: So there’s no screwups with the permits this time?

Michael: The permits have been filed absolutely on time. You have my word on that. Um, tell you what. Let me get some of this... Well... Well, as you... The important part is here.

Kitty: Bye, you guys. Really great to see you again. They think you’re full of (bleep). I think it’s the sweating.

Michael: I’ve got to get a car.

Kitty: Don’t worry. I told them the truth.

Michael: That I rode here on a bike?

Kitty: That the permits weren’t filed.

Michael: But my dad filed the permits before he went to jail.

Kitty: He most certainly did not.

Michael: So, I just lied to the investors?

Kitty: You most certainly did.

Michael: That’s really great. Well, I’ve got to ride my bike out to the prison and talk to my dad about this. That’ll be fun in hundred-degree heat.

Kitty: Why don’t you just take your dad’s car?

Michael: No, Dad would never go for that.

Flashback.

1981

Narrator: George Sr. had always been overprotective of his cars.

George, Sr.: There’s no ice cream in the car.

Michael: I’ll be careful.

George, Sr.: All right, this is what we’re going to do. Careful, Michael. Oh!

Kitty: Whatever you think.

Michael: Yeah.

Kitty: But I did see G.O.B. driving it last week.

Michael: Wait. Honestly? G.O.B.’s driving the car?

Kitty: I’m not the liar.

Vote: ***** / Average: 2.63 (56 votes)

Narrator: Michael wanted his father’s car, so he went to confront his brother G.O.B.

G.O.B.: Give me a “G.O.B.”

George Michael: G.O.B.!

G.O.B.: No, I didn’t mean for you to yell my name at me. It’s what I call a double-dipped banana with everything on it.

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.18 (66 votes)

Michael: Hey, I can’t believe you. I asked you two weeks ago whether we should use Dad’s car and you said it would be “bad form.” Now I hear you’re driving it.

G.O.B.: That is a lie. A bald-faced lie.

Narrator: G.O.B. was lying. He had been driving his father’s car.

Vote: ***** / Average: 3.56 (45 votes)

G.O.B.: Look, why don’t you just take your precious portable stairway vehicle you’re always trying to convince us is a car?

Vote: ***** / Average: 3.98 (46 votes)

Michael: Yeah, that would be great, except our brother-in-law left it in an airport parking lot.

G.O.B.: From whence it came, huh?

a la “Return from whence it came.”
Vote: ***** / Average: 4.09 (44 votes)

Narrator: In fact, Tobias had intended to park the family’s only vehicle at the airport parking lot, but was waved onto the tarmac instead, where he found a spot close to his gate.

George Michael: Here you go, Uncle G.O.B. I had to use two sticks just to support all the extra chocolate and nuts.

Michael: Hey, hey, hey, whoa. Two sticks and extra chocolate? Is it Mardi Gras?

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.25 (52 votes)
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