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Pier Pressure

Episode Transcript

Written by Jim Vallely and Mitchell Hurwitz.

Page: 1 2 3 >> 8 Next >

Revision: 1.24

Narrator: Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together. It’s Arrested Development.


Narrator: Michael Bluth was talking to his son about his latest test.

Michael: A minus, huh?

George Michael: Proud of me?

Michael: Very proud. Minus. Better go hit the books. Get up there.

Maeby: “C minus.” C m-i-n-e-s.Listen

Lindsay: Did you even study?

Maeby: No, I didn’t.

Lindsay: Wow. How impressive is that?

Michael: Well, the bar for the refrigerator has been lowered.

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.40 (63 votes)

Lindsay: Oh, grades are meaningless. Maeby’s last school didn’t even have them.

Sunshine Academy report card

Narrator: Back in Boston, Maeby’s parents had enrolled her in a progressive school with its own system of evaluation.

Michael: All I’m saying, Lindsay, is that you know, you might want to push her a little bit because a kid without discipline can get into some pretty tough stuff.

Lindsay: So you think she’s going to suddenly turn to drugs because she got a C plus?

Michael: Minus. And yes, I think that without boundaries, a kid can get into trouble, and yeah, sometimes that can mean drugs.

Lindsay: Well, I think stress is what leads to trouble. You know the kind you put on George Michael, even when he gets an A?

Michael: Minus. And an A gets him ice cream. He knows that.

Vote: ***** / Average: 3.63 (54 votes)

Lindsay: See, you’re as bad as Dad with his ridiculous lessons.

1981

Narrator: George, Sr. had used his considerable means to stage intricate scenarios, to teach his children what he considered valuable life lessons.

George, Sr.: I need help.

J. Walter Weatherman: I’ll get my gear.

Narrator: Typically, these scenarios would involve a man named J. Walter Weatherman, a one-time employee who lost his arm in a Bluth Company construction accident.

Young G.O.B.: Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?

Vote: ***** / Average: 3.41 (46 votes)

George, Sr.: We’re out of milk. I could have got it earlier if someone would have left a note.

Tires screeching.

George, Sr.: Oh.

Screaming and yelling.

George, Sr.: Why?! If someone had left a note, this innocent man would still have his arm! Why?!

Screaming.

J. Walter Weatherman: And that’s why you always leave a note.Listen

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.57 (109 votes)

Michael: Well, those lessons worked, didn’t they? I mean, we still leave notes to this day.

Lindsay: Oh, that’s what that was about. I thought he was trying to get us off of dairy.

G.O.B.: I need a favor.

Michael: What happened to “Hello. I need a favor”?

G.O.B.: I owe Hot Cops 500 bucks.

Michael: Hot Cops?

G.O.B.: It’s the stripping agency I used to work for. Cop uniform?

Michael: Right.

G.O.B.: You know, I might’ve been a little too believable.

Flashback.

G.O.B.: Police! Open up!Listen

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