The Magical Arrested Development Tour, Part II
Episode Transcript
Written by John Levenstein and Jim Vallely.
Revision: 1.11
Narrator: Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together. It’s Arrested Development.
Narrator: It was Michael’s sister’s anniversary and he’d convinced his mother to throw a party for her.
Michael: Lindsay, how’s this for an anniversary cake?
Lucille: Anniversary? You asked me to throw a Valentine’s Day party.
Michael: Did I?
Marta: Michael, all alone on Valentine’s Day? How’s that possible? You seem like such a romantic to me. I can just see you showing up on some lucky girl’s porch, in a tuxedo with a bottle of champagne.
Michael: Yeah. But if I show up with all that stuff, I could probably just get away with shorts and a T-shirt right? Which is good because I don’t even have a tuxedo.
Marta: So you’re saying there’s no one that you’re even interested in?
Narrator: In fact, Michael had become enamored of Marta when G.O.B. was having second thoughts about the relationship.
G.O.B.: I’ve made a huge mistake.
Narrator: But when G.O.B. recommitted to her...
G.O.B.: I’ve made a huge mistake.
Narrator: ...Michael decided to do the noble thing and let her go.
Michael: There was somebody for a little while, but it was too much of a brother... bother.
Lindsay: That can’t feel good.
Michael: It’s fine. I’m over it. I’m okay by myself, you know? I really just want to focus on my family’s happiness. That’s why I threw this party. I mean, 14 years, huh? You’ve got to be doing something right.
Maeby is already 14, so presumably she was made in a cup of soup before the wedding.
Lindsay: Well, if you call not filing for divorce something right. But I guess we keep it interesting.
Michael: Where’s Tobias?
Lindsay: He’s on the balcony having margaritas with Carl Weathers.
Narrator: Tobias had recently hired actor Carl Withers as a drama coach.
Tobias: Do you see me more as the respected dramatic actor or more of the beloved comic actor?
Carl Weathers: Whoa, whoa, whoa. There’s still plenty of meat on that bone. Now you take this home, throw it in a pot, add some broth, a potato. Baby, you’ve got a stew going.
Tobias: Yes, that’s fine, but I would like to focus on my acting, Mr. Weathers. I did give you my last $1,100.
Carl Weathers: Let me tell you a little story about acting. I was doing this Showtime movie—Hot Ice with Anne Archer—never once touched my per diem. I’d go to Craft Service, get some raw veggies, bacon, Cup-A-Soup— baby, I got a stew going.
Tobias: I think I’d like my money back.
Maeby is blowing bubbles into her soda.
Narrator: Like his father, George Michael had been nursing an impossible crush. It was on his cousin, Maeby. And with no one to talk to, he was looking for some kind of direction.
George Michael: Just give me a sign.
George Michael: The first one’s obvious. Okay.
Narrator: He continued to look for a sign, until finally...
George Michael: “Maybe tonight.” What are the chances?
