A Year To Remember
Episode Transcript
Written by Jim Vallely and Chuck Martin.
Revision: 1.12
Narrator: Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together. It’s Arrested Development.
Narrator: Michael was sharing his bed for the first time in years. Unfortunately, it was with his younger brother, Buster.
Michael: Buster. Buster.
Michael: Hey, good morning. What are you doing?
George Michael: This is my Ethics essay. I’m supposed to write 200 words on the morality of war—whether a preemptive strike is ever justified.
Michael: Absolutely. It’s preemptive, you know? Happened before something else, so... if you can predict aggression, and you want to squash it... I don’t know why you’re not typing this. It’s all good.
George Michael: I’m not sure my Ethics teacher would love if I cheated on my essay.
Michael: Well, you just passed my Ethics test.
Narrator: In fact, George Michael had developed a hopeless crush on his Ethics teacher—a woman named Beth Baerly.
Ms. Baerly: ... even minor crimes are punishable by brutally chopping off the offender’s hand.
George Michael: Oh. No ring.
Michael: Can’t wait to meet her at Parent-Teacher Night.
George Michael: Oh, yeah, Dad. And, Dad, try to remember everything she says about me.
Michael: Okay.
Lucille: Michael? I need you to do something about my son.
Michael: I totally agree, Mom. Buster goes home. We flip the mattress. This never happened.
“Congratulations new parent!” “Your adoption has finally been approved.” “young boy from Korea” “Please be home between 9:00 and 5:00.”
Lucille: Not Buster. Read this.
Michael: Did you and Dad adopt a child?
Lucille: The SEC was on to us. Your father thought it would make us look charitable. He must have forged my signature.
Lucille: Well, maybe I’ll get a son who will finish his cottage cheese.
Lucille: You’ve got to get me out of this.
Michael: I’ll call Social Services, but you must take Buster back.
Michael: Hello.
G.O.B.: Michael. I got a couple of girls here—a couple of fun girls—I thought I’d bring you in on.
Michael: Ooh, I don’t know, G.O.B.
G.O.B.: Come on, Michael. So we had a little disagreement.
Narrator: Recently, G.O.B. had discovered that Michael was interested in his now ex-girlfriend Marta.
G.O.B.: I’m offering you an olive branch here.
Michael: Yeah, yeah, no, I know, and I... I appreciate that.
G.O.B.: Besides, when was the last time you slept with someone?
Michael: Buster.
