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Episode Transcript

Written by Brad Copeland.

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Revision: 1.12

Narrator: Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together. It’s Arrested Development.


Narrator: Michael had begun to work weekends. Unfortunately, this interfered with the Saturday morning bike ride he usually took with his son.

Michael: So this isn’t bad, right? Just like a normal Saturday.

George Michael: You know, Dad, you don’t have to drive so slow. I can ride my bike by myself.

Michael: This actually doesn’t go any faster.

Phone rings.

George Michael: I mean, I know you have a lot of work, you know?

Michael: That still doesn’t mean I can’t hang out with my... Hang on, one second. (Into phone.) This is Michael. Mom, I’m expecting a very important phone... For God’s sakes, I’ll be right there.

George Michael: Dad.

Tires screech.

George Michael: Dad!

Michael: Nice instincts, son! Good reflexes!

Narrator: Back at the model home, Lindsay awoke late to find her husband missing.

Lindsay: Maeby? Michael? Tobias?

Note reads, “From the desk of Dr. Tobias Fünke: Off to Work -T (Tobias).” “the desk of Dr.” is crossed out.

Lindsay: Work?

one week earlier...

Narrator: Tobias had recently been cast in a movie, playing the role of a frightened inmate.

CC unheard: However, he was struggling with his role.

Tobias: I ain’t going to squeal, man. I ain’t going to squeal... Oh! I’m not frightened. God! Lindsay, say something to scare me.

Lindsay: (bleep) me.

Lindsay is reading “Paradise Magazine.”

Tobias: Nope. Nothing. Thanks for trying, though.

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.05 (62 votes)

Tobias: You know what I ought to do? I ought to check myself into a men’s penal colony. Perhaps... your father could get me in.

Lindsay: Well, if he can go to work, so can I.

Narrator: Lucille, meanwhile, was growing closer to her recently adopted Korean son, whom she called Annyong ...

Lucille: That looks much better, Annyong.

Narrator: ... which isn’t a name ...

Annyong: Annyong

Hello.

Narrator: ... but the Korean word for “hello.”

Buster: And I guess I can comb my own hair.

Lucille: Oh, please, he’s a little boy, And since he’s going to go off and work for ten hours, I want him to look nice. Thank you, Lupe.

Buster: You got a job, Annyong?

Annyong: Annyong.

Hello.

Buster: Annyong.

Annyong: Annyong.

Hello.

Lucille: At the banana stand. Oh, his work ethic is unbelievable. Unlike some sons I know.

Buster: I’m a scholar. I enjoy scholarly pursuits.

Lucille: (Sighs.) Suddenly, playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit.

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.47 (70 votes)

Michael: Hey, Lupe.

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