The Magical Arrested Development Tour, Part II
For Your Safety: Don’t Answer That Door
Guys With Low Self-Esteem
Controversial Video Maker Visits The O.C.
Episode Transcript
Written by John Levenstein and Mitchell Hurwitz.
Revision: 1.17
Narrator: Now the story of the family who lost everything, and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together. It’s Arrested Development.
John Beard: The local colleges are on spring break and things are heating up in Newport Beach.
Narrator: George Michael was off from school for two weeks and was enjoying spending time with his uncle.
G.O.B.: I’m intercepting some telepathic energy. It’s telling me it’s the... eight of diamonds.
George Michael: That’s amazingly close.
G.O.B.: Gee, I got it wrong. Well, I guess you won the shirt off my back.
George Michael: Okay, that’s amazing.
G.O.B.: It’s the queen of diamonds.
George Michael: No, no, but, I mean, if that had been the actual card, I’m pretty sure I’d be almost too blown away.
G.O.B.: It’s a, you know, it’s a new trick. I’m still tweaking my nipple thing.
George Michael: Your presentation is great.
Michael: Whoa! What’s going on here, huh? George Michael, you should get to school.
George Michael: No, we’re off for two weeks, Dad. G.O.B.’s teaching me some new tricks.
G.O.B.: No, I’m good. Anyway, listen. Michael, um... I need the yacht. Kinda made a commitment.
Narrator: One year earlier, G.O.B. had appeared on a youth-oriented music network when they did a segment on Spring Break Newport Beach.
G.O.B.: Now that I’ve gotten your attention, I’d like to announce that one year from today, I shall make that beautiful yacht... disappear.
George Michael: Wow. He’s amazing.
Michael: Yeah, well, he hasn’t done it and you’re holding a four of spades in your hand.
George Michael: Yeah. I don’t care. I’m loving the ride, you know? (To G.O.B.) So how you going to do it?
G.O.B.: Well, you’ve got two weeks off. You’re about to find out.
G.O.B.: Maybe we’ll meet a couple of young coeds along the way. How young is too young for you?
Michael: Okay, that’s not going to happen. Okay? There’s not gonna be any coeds. There certainly isn’t going to be any magic. It is a path to a lonely life where people mock you and you don’t even realize it.
G.O.B.: But Michael, I’m a magici... Oh, I see what you did.
Michael: But don’t worry about it. Kitty’s coming back, and it’s just in time. She’s caused nothing but problems since she’s worked for me.
Michael: She’s been out for two weeks with this chest thing, but she’s had no problems cashing the checks I’ve been sending her.
Lindsay: Speaking of which, have we gotten anything from Nana?
Nana, besides grandmother, also refers to banana.
