The One Where They Talk About Season Two
A Tale of Two Sitcoms: Part 2
Correction: George Bluth, Sr. Not Yet Dead
The Hot Cops Uncover: George Bluth, Sr.’s Death Certificate
Episode Transcript
Written by John Levenstein.
Revision: 1.9
Narrator: Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything, and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together. It’s Arrested Development.
Narrator: Michael was adjusting to his new position as Vice President, which meant doing the work of the President, his brother G.O.B.
G.O.B.: Michael.
Michael: Hey.
- homosexual
- The magicians’ magazine is named Poof, which is slang for homosexual.
G.O.B.: So, did you see the new Poof?
Michael: His name’s Gary. And we don’t need any more lawsuits, okay?
G.O.B.: No, I was talking about the magazine.
G.O.B.: Anyway, I was talking about Poof magazine. The magazine for magicians.
Michael: Yeah.
G.O.B.: Look, this guy Tony Wonder bakes himself into a loaf of bread, and then pops out of a giant sandwich to feed the troops. I had that idea ten months ago.
Michael: You had that idea?
G.O.B.: Well, basically. I was going to boil myself alive into a chowder and then be ladled into a giant cauldron to entertain and feed the firemen.
Michael: It’s pretty close.
G.O.B.: I should be in this Poof!
Michael: Michael Bluth.
Lucille: He found him. Ice found your father.
Narrator: Michael had recently hired a bounty hunter to track down his fugitive father.
Michael: What? Where?
Lucille: He’s coming over here at 5:00 to tell us, but he wants to get paid first.
Michael: Oh, Dad goes back to jail, I can be cleared, I could be President again.
G.O.B.: And I’m halfway to getting out of this office and into a steaming bowl of soup.
Michael: Everybody wins.
G.O.B.: Yeah.
Lucille: Oscar, close it! You look like the window of a butcher shop.
Lucille: Thank God, I can finally get rid of him.
Michael: I’ll see you at 5:00, Mom.
- Charlie Brown
- The banana stand is closed, with a “The frozen banana maker is OUT” sign like Lucy’s psychiatry stand.
Narrator: Michael then headed down to the frozen banana stand where his son was supposed to be working.
Ann 2.0: It just seems like every time we want to be together, your father...
Michael: Hey, guys. What’s going on? Why is the banana stand closed?
George Michael: Oh, Ann came to see me, so I thought I’d take a little break. Can we talk about this later?
Michael: Sure, no problem. Just... let’s keep the phone on, okay, pal? Great. Hey, you!
Ann 2.0: See? That’s a perfect example of how your father always interrupt...
