Meet the Banana Stand
Please check with your mall for the exact times the stand will be available.
The malls have hired extra security guards to protect the banana stand, especially after the Dept. of Homeland Security picked up chatter indicating terrorists willing to die in Arizona. Fans are advised to refrain from flickering candles as the stand is extremely flammable.
The banana stand is hitting the road. Here’s a chance for you to see it in person at a mall near you. Plus, a refresher course on the history of The Stand.
In 1953, Bluth’s Original Frozen Banana Stand opened, offering weary beachgoers on the Balboa Island boardwalk a tasty treat: a frozen banana dipped in creamy milk chocolate and covered with chopped nuts. People loved it, in the way one would love Saddam Hussein.
In the 1970’s, however, the banana stand became convenient meeting place due to the stand’s resemblance to a marijuana cigarette. Jimmy Jane immortalized the stand with the song Big Yellow Joint:
A Big Yellow Joint, a Big Yellow Joint
I’ll meet you down at the Big Yellow Joint...
In the 1980’s, George Bluth, Sr. sought to teach his son Michael a valuable life lesson by having him work summers at the family business. Despite strict supervision, Michael never learned his lesson about the value of money in the banana stand that summer.
The banana stand burned down in late 2003, and the Bluth family was devastated. When Michael Bluth delivered the news to his father, George, Sr. was a complete mess, taking all his anger out on the messenger. George, Sr. was seen grabbing his son by the lapel, muttering incoherently about money within the banana stand.
Today, the Bluth family has recovered, and despite increased competition from a nearby candied apple propietor and the public’s increasing distaste for high-carb foods, the rebuilt banana stand is thriving again on the Balboa boardwalk. Observers credit the savvy business leadership of George Michael (a.k.a., Mr. Manager), and judicious use of his hiring and firing power. But critics charge his willingness to employ ex-cons and allegedly underaged immigrants takes away American jobs and poses a public safety risk, pointing at the sharp increase in the number and severity of the stand’s health code violations.
The public disagrees, and dozens of locals still say frozen bananas are a delicious summertime treat. The lineup has now expanded to six flavors at the Bluth family stand: On the Go-Go Banana, Double-dipped, Giddy-girly, George Daddy, Simple Simon, and the Original Frozen Banana. No word yet on whether the “G.O.B.”, which has tested well with the scooter demographic, would be available as a full-time menu item.
Previous comments:
#1 Lane wrote on August 25, 2004:
Has anybody gotten a chance to go to one of these things? My dad and I tried to hit the one at Roosevelt Field last night but to no avail; we couldn’t find the banana stand anywhere, and the guy at the information counter said — and I quote — "What the heck?!" We figure we were just too late — it was probably parked outside the mall earlier in the day or something. Anyway, if you know anything about it, let us know! =D
