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Best Man For The Gop
Real needle, real Apple, real pain-in-the-neck.
Girl supports G.O.P. with pin.
The Republican National Convention started Monday in New York City, drawing delegates from all over the country to what is essentially a weeklong party that culminates in George H. W. Bush being named the G.O.P.’s official nominee for President. But not everyone is happy about the convention, especially not the citizens who thought they were having a Labor Day party. “I was tricked,” said one resident. “We were all deceived,” said another. “That just sums up the Republican party,” said a third, “It’s all of the tricks. The little tricks. How can anyone vote for Bush?” “All you liberals are the same,” a Wall St. stockbroker shot back, “you just belittle his career.”
In this predominately Democratic city, people use more than just words to express their displeasure. One man took residence in a beloved tree, a group of pirates took to the high seas of the Hudson River, and a woman even performed a cage dance.
Even before the convention had started, protesters were seen and heard. The coffee shops are still abuzz over the nude bicyclists last Friday. “They were flying,” said one man eating his muffin. His companion agreed, “Yes, but a little too close to the sun.” In fact, the exposure caused nearly a dozen cyclists to be treated for sunburns. “And that’s why you always wear those little shorts,” said an experienced bicyclist.
The reaction in the liberal city comes as a stark contrast to the reaction here in Orange County. Most people here support the President, especially his handling of the war. “A preemptive strike is absolutely justified,” said Balboa native, Michael Bluth. “Before invading, you have to think, what would Saddam do? If you can predict aggression, you want to squash it.”
Equally popular is the President’s support for a Constitutional ban on gay marraige. “A marriage is a sacred bond between a man and a woman,” said a man called Gob, “and should only be entered after a series of escalating dares.”
Local author Tobias Fünke added, “When a man need to prove to a woman... when a man loves a woman...”
“I’m going to stop you,” a local school boy interjected. Then, he summed
up the G.O.P.’s argument succinctly. “Family first.”